The Casey Anthony Guide to Getting Away With Murder

With her fresh acquittal, Casey Anthony may have trouble finding a job, but not to worry. After she is paid an exorbitant fee for her memoir, she can start a consulting business for others who want to get away with murder.

She can begin her “How-to” book with her ten top tricks:

1. Disappear for 31 days with your victim, but before leaving google “how to make chloroform” and “death”;

2. Leave your vehicle in a no parking zone so it gets towed and when found reeks of “dead body”;

3. Tell everyone you left your victim with nanny Zanny, who doesn’t really exist and party like it’s 1999 (courtesy of Prince)

4. During the investigation carry on as an incorrigible liar and continue on a crime spree. Suggested offences include theft, forgery and fraud.

5. Retain laundry bags, duct-tape and plastic bags that match the items found with the victim;

6. Advise authorities the victim’s “Winnie the Pooh” blanket is missing and ensure it turns up at the crime scene;

7. Tell police the victim called you, to send them on a wild-goose chase;

8. Find a lawyer who will agree to present your made-up story, such as an accidental drowning, and blame another family member;

9. For good measure, claim you were sexually molested by your father and your brother;

10. Fail to provide any evidence of your imaginary defences.

It’s no wonder that most right-thinking people are outraged by the jury’s decision, however, despite Ms. Anthony’s slimy behavior, consider the evidence led and not led by the prosecution.

Caylee’s cause of death was unknown and there was no DNA evidence, due to the fact that little Caylee’s body decomposition was well advanced.

There was a new type of forensic science called “hair banding”, that made its inaugural debut at the Anthony trial. Seems however the jury was not impressed with the science that suggested that after death, a victim’s hair roots can form a dark band and one such hair was found in the trunk of Ms. Anthony’s car. One of the problems with the hair banding theory was that it had yet to be peer-reviewed or subjected to independent scientific scrutiny.

The prosecutors made a second attempt to submit science that would be compelling to the jurors. This evidence suggested that “air sampling” from Casey Anthony’s vehicle showed chemical compounds consistent with decomposition. The same expert witness stated there was chloroform in the car trunk as well. But nine women and eight men (including alternate jurors) weren’t buying what the prosecutor was selling.

So what are we left with? A prosecution case that did not have sufficient evidence to prove Casey’s
guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. A prosecutor who declared that after a guilty verdict, Casey would be on her way to death row, a position that when coupled with the criminal standard of proof, was the death knell for the Crown’s case.

What about Casey Anthony? She will always bear the mark of a murderer. There can be no doubt she has serious psychological problems and after throwing her father under the bus, those issues become even more complicated.

And the American media? A rollicking time was had by all, with ratings going through the roof during the trial and its aftermath. Bottom line? Big money was made.

Poor little Caylee.

Lawdiva aka Georgialee Lang