Divorcee Alert: There Are No Single Men in Vancouver

As a happily married divorce lawyer and amateur matchmaker, I am ready to admit there are hardly any single men available to women over forty-years-old in Vancouver. And believe me, I know.

Early on I saw a natural synergy between my family law practice and my access to hordes of soon-to–be-divorced men and women. There was a time when I had a stable of single guys looking to recommit to a lovely lady and an equal quota of bright, attractive women eager to date and mate, if the opportunity arose.

But that was before, not now. Vancouver is bereft of quality single guys willing to date a 40-or 50-something gal. So what has happened in the meantime? Lots.

First of all, we already know that men are loath to make a commitment to a woman even if they are madly in love with her. Guys are just slower to decide whether “the bird in their hand” is as good as the one “in the bush”.

Consider this recent example: my posh 58-year-old friend/client was set up on a blind date with a guy who frequented the same Mercedes dealership she did. After a few phone calls, our guy asked my friend if she wanted to have dinner with him. She said yes and off they went.

However, he chose a neighbourhood restaurant where she was well-know, and apparently he was too. The restaurant proprietor greeted her warmly and then acknowledged her date, noting that he had not seem him in the restaurant lately. That’s when the evening went downhill.

Mr. Mercedes protested that he had never been in the restaurant before and that the owner must be mixing him up with someone else. After ordering a salad and a glass of wine, the formerly amorous gentlemen pronounced the end of their date and drove my friend home.

Yes, my friend later discovered she was friends with his live-in girlfriend’s closest girlfriend. Shortly thereafter, he purchased a large diamond ring and entered into holy matrimony with his fiancee. Who knows how many other women he saw before he settled into domestic life? That’s not classy.

Another reason there are few eligible bachelors for the more mature set, is because they are already spoken for before they even file for divorce. While there are some truly devastated husbands who can’t believe their wife walked away, mostly, they are already paired up before they have paid a retainer to their divorce lawyer.

Why is that? Infidelity is still the leading cause of divorce in my practice. It comes in all shapes and sizes: the old girlfriend he ran into at the high school reunion; his secretary at the office; the pub waitress. One common denominator is they are usually at least ten years younger that the Mrs.

But you say, Vancouver has scores of cultured, attractive, and well-dressed men, just go to the opera, the theatre or the best restaurants in town. Yup, but they’re gay! They make wonderful companions, but the girls I know are after the now-elusive romance they once had.

By the way, Vancouver’s commercial matchmaking game is disastrous. Seems like a tired group of men have made the rounds of all the pros and still haven’t found a woman who would put up with them. You pay them $3000 for a few dates with a guy who needs to be at least 6 feet tall and they pair you up with five guys who are under 5’7″. What a bargain.

We’re left with the internet and frankly, I’ve heard mixed reviews! What’s a girl to do?

Lawdiva aka Georgialee Lang

Another Child Abducted

It is becoming apparent to me that a significant part of my law practice revolves around abducted children. I spent this morning in the BC Supreme Court in Vancouver with the single goal of having a six-year-old boy returned to this mother in Tokyo, Japan.

In this case the father was very tricky, lulling mom to think he would not abscond with their son, but he did.

Mom and dad married and lived in Japan for six years. They had a son born in Japan. Towards the end of 2010, the couple separated and mom and dad signed a divorce agreement which provided that their young son would live with his mother in Japan.

As Christmas was beckoning, mom agreed that her husband would travel to British Columbia to spend the holidays with his mother, the child’s paternal grandmother, taking their young boy with him. Mom signed a travel authorization permitting father to take their son to Vancouver with a return ticket and a return date of January 5, 2011.

All went well and the young boy and his father returned to Japan on January 5. Unbeknownst to the mother, the father had filed documents with the Tokyo Court disavowing his consent to the divorce agreement.

Meanwhile, the father carried on as if everything was settled. Because his wife was concerned he might leave Japan again with the child, the father made a show of cutting up the boy’s Canadian and Japanese passports in front of his wife. Later the mother learned that her husband had cut up two expired passports.

The next day father and son were going on an outing to the Tokyo zoo but this was a ruse, as the father took his son straight to the airport and flew to Vancouver with the child’s new passport.

As well, for the Christmas travel, the mother had signed a travel authorization. The father copied the Christmas travel authorization and used it to forge a new authorization that permitted travel to Vancouver and also said that the child would attend school in Vancouver.

The mother went to the Tokyo police and to her Japanese lawyer but they could not help her. In March 2011 she filed a Claim in the British Columbia Supreme Court for orders that her son be returned.

The father hired three different lawyers, each replacing the other and embarked on typical delay tactics. The Court hearing for the return of the child was scheduled in May, August and October 2011 and on each occasion the father sought and obtained an adjournment.

Finally, the matter was heard today and surprise!–neither the father or his lawyer showed up in Court.

The judge heard the evidence and ordered that the child be returned to Japan immediately; that the Court in BC declined to hear the custody matter; and that the matter would be sent back to Japan where the child’s habitual residence had been before his father kidnapped him.

As well, the Court ordered that the police assist to locate and apprehend the child for his return to Japan. It sounds like a wonderful ending, except that we have every reason to believe that the father, in breach of an earlier order that the child remain in BC until the Court hears the case, will not be easily found.

Yes, eleven months after the abduction, the mother finally has the orders she needs. Now all she needs to do his find her son.

Child abduction is the worst form of child abuse and hopefully when the child is located, the police will charge the father with criminal parental abduction under the Criminal Code of Canada.

Regrettably, the punishment for parental kidnapping is almost no punishment at all.

Lawdiva aka Georgialee Lang