Guest Post: What Happens When Nannies Get Stuck Between Divorcing Parents

Divorces are stressful, that cannot be denied. The long and arduous process of dividing family property can leave feelings of animosity and regret. As a parent going through divorce you need to consider how the disruption inherent in divorce is going to affect your much-loved nanny.

Of course, your nanny will have to change the daily routine depending on where the children are at during that point in time, but what legalities are involved in continuing the employment of your caregiver once the divorce process begins.

1. Scheduling – As you and your spouse have more than likely separated, or are planning to separate, exact scheduling needs to be addressed for your nanny. Of course, this is going to be dependent on the new schedules of each household. Any overtime incurred from alterations within the time-frame will also have to be addressed. You will need to discuss the situation with your nanny and discover if the new schedules are something he or she can keep.

2. Payment Responsibilities – You and your former spouse will need to discuss the payment responsibilities of maintaining the nanny for your child. This may or may not be decreed by the judge during the custody hearing. If the two of you can devise a reasonable plan for retaining your nanny, there is a solid chance the judge will consider the idea. In a joint custody situation, usually both parents pay an equal share of the amount owed to the caregiver.

3. Time Off – Scheduled time off will be dependent on how the new living arrangements are developed. If one of you takes the child on vacation during a scheduled work-week for the nanny, does he or she get paid time off? Will your nanny now have to work weekends in either household due to these changes? After a divorce, there could be extreme changes to the scheduling and if your nanny is unable to adapt, you may need to look for an alternative solution.

4. Parental Rights – If there are agreements or court orders involving the parental rights of your former spouse, your nanny needs to be informed immediately. Depending on the circumstances surrounding the divorce, there could be specific rules put into place by the courts for yourself or your ex-partner. Your nanny needs to know if there are specific times that a parent is allowed to visit the child and/or if the parent can pick up the child to take him or her out to dinner.

This is as much for your benefit as it is for the child and the nanny. Without this knowledge, the nanny could end up in a battle with one parent, being unaware of the court ordered parenting schedule. Your nanny needs to be in the loop so that she can ensure that your child is protected. A prized nanny will not let anyone assert access rights over your children, without a court order.

SARA DAWKINS is an active nanny as well as an active freelance writer. She is a frequent contributor of Learn more about her at


5 thoughts on “Guest Post: What Happens When Nannies Get Stuck Between Divorcing Parents

  1. i’ve been looking for legal information on other websites, but your articles are awesome and better than the others.

  2. The scheduling Ive found to be an especially distressful part of a divorce. The kids get pulled in two different directions and its very challenging to strike any kind of normalcy for them. As a personal injury lawyer, I see this all the time in my domestic injury cases where tension occurs between parents due to the stress of sharing the kids and the leftover resentment from the divorce. Thanks for bringing this to light.

  3. First of all I would like to say great blog! I had a quick question which I’d like to
    ask if you don’t mind. I was curious to find out how you center yourself and clear your thoughts before writing.
    I’ve had a hard time clearing my mind in getting my
    ideas out there. I truly do enjoy writing but it just seems like the first
    10 to 15 minutes are lost just trying to figure out how to begin.
    Any suggestions or tips? Cheers!

  4. When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get four emails with the same comment.

    Is there any way you can remove me from that service? Thanks!

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