Early on I saw a natural synergy between my family law practice and my access to hordes of soon-to–be-divorced men and women. There was a time when I had a stable of single guys looking to recommit to a lovely lady and an equal quota of bright, attractive women eager to date and mate, if the opportunity arose.
But that was before, not now. Vancouver is bereft of quality single guys willing to date a 40-or 50-something gal. So what has happened in the meantime? Lots.
First of all, we already know that men are loath to make a commitment to a woman even if they are madly in love with her. Guys are just slower to decide whether “the bird in their hand” is as good as the one “in the bush”.
Consider this recent example: my posh 58-year-old friend/client was set up on a blind date with a guy who frequented the same Mercedes dealership she did. After a few phone calls, our guy asked my friend if she wanted to have dinner with him. She said yes and off they went.
However, he chose a neighbourhood restaurant where she was well-know, and apparently he was too. The restaurant proprietor greeted her warmly and then acknowledged her date, noting that he had not seem him in the restaurant lately. That’s when the evening went downhill.
Mr. Mercedes protested that he had never been in the restaurant before and that the owner must be mixing him up with someone else. After ordering a salad and a glass of wine, the formerly amorous gentlemen pronounced the end of their date and drove my friend home.
Yes, my friend later discovered she was friends with his live-in girlfriend’s closest girlfriend. Shortly thereafter, he purchased a large diamond ring and entered into holy matrimony with his fiancee. Who knows how many other women he saw before he settled into domestic life? That’s not classy.
Another reason there are few eligible bachelors for the more mature set, is because they are already spoken for before they even file for divorce. While there are some truly devastated husbands who can’t believe their wife walked away, mostly, they are already paired up before they have paid a retainer to their divorce lawyer.
Why is that? Infidelity is still the leading cause of divorce in my practice. It comes in all shapes and sizes: the old girlfriend he ran into at the high school reunion; his secretary at the office; the pub waitress. One common denominator is they are usually at least ten years younger that the Mrs.
But you say, Vancouver has scores of cultured, attractive, and well-dressed men, just go to the opera, the theatre or the best restaurants in town. Yup, but they’re gay! They make wonderful companions, but the girls I know are after the now-elusive romance they once had.
By the way, Vancouver’s commercial matchmaking game is disastrous. Seems like a tired group of men have made the rounds of all the pros and still haven’t found a woman who would put up with them. You pay them $3000 for a few dates with a guy who needs to be at least 6 feet tall and they pair you up with five guys who are under 5’7″. What a bargain.
We’re left with the internet and frankly, I’ve heard mixed reviews! What’s a girl to do?
Lawdiva aka Georgialee Lang