Divorcee Alert: There Are No Single Men in Vancouver

As a happily married divorce lawyer and amateur matchmaker, I am ready to admit there are hardly any single men available to women over forty-years-old in Vancouver. And believe me, I know.

Early on I saw a natural synergy between my family law practice and my access to hordes of soon-to–be-divorced men and women. There was a time when I had a stable of single guys looking to recommit to a lovely lady and an equal quota of bright, attractive women eager to date and mate, if the opportunity arose.

But that was before, not now. Vancouver is bereft of quality single guys willing to date a 40-or 50-something gal. So what has happened in the meantime? Lots.

First of all, we already know that men are loath to make a commitment to a woman even if they are madly in love with her. Guys are just slower to decide whether “the bird in their hand” is as good as the one “in the bush”.

Consider this recent example: my posh 58-year-old friend/client was set up on a blind date with a guy who frequented the same Mercedes dealership she did. After a few phone calls, our guy asked my friend if she wanted to have dinner with him. She said yes and off they went.

However, he chose a neighbourhood restaurant where she was well-know, and apparently he was too. The restaurant proprietor greeted her warmly and then acknowledged her date, noting that he had not seem him in the restaurant lately. That’s when the evening went downhill.

Mr. Mercedes protested that he had never been in the restaurant before and that the owner must be mixing him up with someone else. After ordering a salad and a glass of wine, the formerly amorous gentlemen pronounced the end of their date and drove my friend home.

Yes, my friend later discovered she was friends with his live-in girlfriend’s closest girlfriend. Shortly thereafter, he purchased a large diamond ring and entered into holy matrimony with his fiancee. Who knows how many other women he saw before he settled into domestic life? That’s not classy.

Another reason there are few eligible bachelors for the more mature set, is because they are already spoken for before they even file for divorce. While there are some truly devastated husbands who can’t believe their wife walked away, mostly, they are already paired up before they have paid a retainer to their divorce lawyer.

Why is that? Infidelity is still the leading cause of divorce in my practice. It comes in all shapes and sizes: the old girlfriend he ran into at the high school reunion; his secretary at the office; the pub waitress. One common denominator is they are usually at least ten years younger that the Mrs.

But you say, Vancouver has scores of cultured, attractive, and well-dressed men, just go to the opera, the theatre or the best restaurants in town. Yup, but they’re gay! They make wonderful companions, but the girls I know are after the now-elusive romance they once had.

By the way, Vancouver’s commercial matchmaking game is disastrous. Seems like a tired group of men have made the rounds of all the pros and still haven’t found a woman who would put up with them. You pay them $3000 for a few dates with a guy who needs to be at least 6 feet tall and they pair you up with five guys who are under 5’7″. What a bargain.

We’re left with the internet and frankly, I’ve heard mixed reviews! What’s a girl to do?

Lawdiva aka Georgialee Lang

44 thoughts on “Divorcee Alert: There Are No Single Men in Vancouver

  1. While I agree with pretty much everything you have said, you inadvertently did bring up an interesting point. One of the reasons a lot of vancouver women are having such difficulty is because they are looking for 6′ tall, dark, rich and handsome. Look, unless you yourself are an Angelina Jolie lookalike with a six figure salary, don’t expect to land a Brad Pitt lookalike surgeon. Set your sights realistic to what YOU have to offer and I am sure you will find a multitude of kind, loving, generous decent looking men looking for the same. I know a lot of vancouver single men find vancouver women to be unapproachable and unfriendly. Unless of course you are 6’2″ and rolling in a 7 series beemer.

  2. I feel obligated to post a reply to this as well ….I comment coming from both personal experience along with 4 very close girlfriends. We all separated from our husbands after 14-16 years of marriage, infidelity the cause for each. Each of our husbands went on to marry their flings (secretary, sister-in-law, business partner’s ex-wife…etc). While all of us continued to work in professional job sectors in the downtown market, raise our children (50/50 co-parenting didn’t exist in those days) and wonder if the possibility would ever exist that someone might share our lives one day, the truth is, there are very few single eligible men in Vancouver. I used to think that “someone who has their financial, social and emotional portfolio in order” was a reasonable request. It appeared that men who were not already in a relationship (that they were prepared to admit to) had no problem carrying on with 3-4 different women all at the same time. My guy (who I believed to be) a handsome, caring, devoted and successful local jeweller turned out to Not be in Vegas at a jewellery trade show but rather in Hawaii with his travel agent. My best girlfriend was dating a Captain with Air Canada … oh dear, turned out that he rented his uniform from a costume shop on Broadway and in fact was living in a basement suite somewhere in Surrey with his brother. Over the span of the last 18 years of Singletome, I am the only one who is married. My girlfriends, now all in their early to mid 50’s could write a book on Vancouver Men. It is not just about what WE have to offer, it is also about the other 50% of the equation. A Vancouver matchmaking company arranged a lunch date for one of my girlfriends with ‘a successful entrepreneur’… they met at a Yaletown restaurant, where I gather half way through the meal, he picked up his knife and proceeded to clean the inside of his nose. Absolutely lovely!

    So, it’s really nothing to do with 7 series BMW’s, and the salary …

    1. interesting thx for sharing.

      In the age of Internet dating women can date more than one person as well. So both
      Men and women can date multiple individuals until they find the one they are most comfortable with.

      I’ve noticed there seems to be more single men who have never been married.

      I agree with you there is the other side to the equation.

      I think people are also more selective after a long failed marriage as well. Second time around priorities change for many.

      Glad to hear you found someone…

  3. the author’s correct, there are no men here. i just got back from ontario & i’d never had so much attention. any place but here.

    “think i’ll go out to alberta, weather’s good there in the fall.”

    1. Within a few hours ran into more men ‘looking out for women’ in TO airport then in several years in Vanc. I think ill travel more and hit the airport lounges. With my luck they’ll all be married business men.

    2. I love this!”Got some friends, that I can go to workin’ for”.

      I’ve heard, when we’ve lived this life, achieved some things, done some good things, did our best, gave away love to as many as possible, etc.—we won’t be thinking about the fact we didn’t get married again. Like, when we are at the end of our lives. It won’t be “Oh gosh darn, I didn’t get married”. It will be “have I lived a good life, did I do my best?’ We may have regrets, but if we’re lucky, we will have let them go, and forgiven the stupid husband/boyfriend.
      But it does seem to be true about Vancouver. All the middle-aged men marrying have younger, and skinnier women. We have to forgive them that. Seems to be driven by an anthropological/evolutionary drive. It must be hard for them. I know a few older guys with much younger women who are kind of a victim of that. It is part of the deal for younger women who like to marry older men. They marry up, or, older, and can be demanding, and perhaps not even have to work.

      It is striking, this difference in men here.

      It could be we women in Vancouver are actually blessed. We have to move on to find, and reach ourselves, and grow into mature, peaceful, loving people. I look at married life at this stage, women who married single dads, or just single men. These women are happy, not because they got married, or married again, but because by some cosmological fluke, they we compatible with their man, and the relationship didn’t keep them from moving along and growing.

      O, I don’t know. What do I know? I’m just sayin’ Seems to me.

  4. if a guy is a good catch.. tall and rich he has his choice if fresh younger women.. that is for sure.. women are only good until about 35 .. either you love one and grow old as a man or you look at the sexy fun younger ones.

    1. sexist pig , typical vancouver male , think he can have it all unless you are rich and GL or super rich you wont have a date aftr 35 😦

  5. guys want younger women and can get them, they dont want to date women their own age. if they are divorced, they’ll not likely want to jump into the fryer again, and will want girlfriends instead. most women believe themselves to be entitiled to the rich, handsome millionaire, with a large house and jet-set lifestyle. well guess what girls 25yr old svetlana has snapped him up before you even knew he was available.

    1. wow that attitude of Canadian men is really going down hill , you would think you guys would want to be loved for yourselves not for your wallets 😦
      btw I date men half my age and they are the one with the big bucks 🙂 they are not my first choice but seems I am theirs

  6. Having been on the dating scene in Vancouver for quite a few years now my girlfriends and I have concluded the only way to meet someone is to meet him from somewhere else. The Vancouver men are spoiled, the ratio of women supposedly is 5 to 1 and so they are lazy..the women here have become aggressive and do all the pursuing because the men don’t feel they have to make any effort. And come on how many guys arrive for dates in the middle of winter with khahi shorts and running shoes….Pleeeease! And for the comment that women are no good after 35 give me a break I see beautiful older women out all the time and those beautiful women are saying WTF where are all the attractive men? FYI guys don’t age very well and let themselves go….but they always THINK they look great so think they should be able to get a 25 year old….in your dreams!

    1. yes, this is very true Barb. funny thing two months’ ago my friend’s mother whose other daughter just moved to Calgary (about one year ago) said that when she and her sister who also travelled there went out for lunch (these two women look good for their ages – around early 60s), they were surrounded by men who were giving them the eye. they couldn’t believe it. so, yes, i really do believe this to be true regarding the piddly and poor supply of men here in Vancouver. this is why my theme song is “Four Strong Winds” esp. the first line that goes, “think i’ll go out to Alberta, weather’s good there in the fall…ommiss…” i am also quite sure that most of the men there have calluses on their hands from hard work (very very sexy), and don’t keep weekly appointments at the nail salon – BIG turnoff. On a positive note, I’ve been told by many people recently and twenty years ago that out of all the Canadian women, Vancouver’s women are the most beautiful (i’ve even heard in the most beautiful in the world). this is probably due to the milder summers (no sun damage), and beautiful water we have here. Not ;like in Ontario where there are practically stone formations growing on the local water fountains!!

      Cheers to my Fellows

    2. Lets face it. There’s some truth to it. Divorced men given a choice prefer younger ladies. Having said that there are many beautiful women in their forties… Plus we many of our priorities change as we age and especially after a long marriage with children.

      Its good to know about the ratio of men to women. That explains a great deal.

      Sounds like a lot of people are in the same boat and well I might not agree with everyone’s posts its nice to see what others are sharing. I find the men’s comments interesting.

      Ps TO is where the men are at! Wonder what the ratio of women to men is there .
      I had more men check me out at the airport
      Then I’ve had in years.

    3. bravo!!!! so true , I am 52 and for the last year have dated a 26 hot young millionaire so theses stats are bunk and so are most of the male poster here , they are dreaming

  7. “The Vancouver men are spoiled, the ratio of women supposedly is 5 to 1 and so they are lazy..the women here have become aggressive and do all the pursuing because the men don’t feel they have to make any effort”

    So Stats Can is wrong when they state the ratio is almost even in Vancouver, and in younger demographics to age 49 there are 20% more men than women? Yes,go look it up.

    Women have become aggressive? With their noses in their phones,or in the pubs having a bitch fest yet wondering why guys won’t approach…yet you think women do all the pursuing? What kind of fantasy world do you live in?

    AND stats show that the ratio of women vs. men cheating is almost equal with men being 5% more. When he cheats it’s almost always because she refuses sex,yet when she cheats it’s “‘you GO,girl”

    Guys have been cleaned out financially,emotionally,the RRSPs gone and the prospect of NEVER retiring.While most women use their kids as ransom to get more,spend a month in Mexico on his dime with her new bad boy while he rents a Surrey basement suite and works a job he hates to pay for it.

    Guys have checked out and refuse to be someone’s financier….better get used to your cats and dildos

    1. you are gross, Walter. probably suffering from little man syndrome, and not able to maintain an e_____ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!

      1. Walter is dead on.

        Men got tired of getting exploited, seeing their fathers and older brothers exploited.

        As a 30 year old, I can say there isn’t a single man in my circle of friends that plans to give up playing the field for a single long-term relationship. Not even considering it. All risk, no reward.

        While the attractiveness of Vancouver women is vastly over states, there are more than enough 20-30 something girls heading to bars in bandage dresses and heels to ensure a happy, satisfying sexlife with very little effort.

        And that’s before Tinder. For more and more men ‘swipe right’ is all the effort a woman warrants. 🙂

    2. Walter’s last sentence, in his post above, contains scientific/medical information that is relevant: Cats .. because Cat Scratch Disease makes people act erratic and ‘crazy’. Look it up. Better yet, go to any dating site, like Plenty of Fish, and you’ll notice that there is an abundance of single women WITH CATS.

      Furthermore, in conversation with single women who have owned cats, it seems they don’t know why they just “push men away” and are sorry, later. Look up Cat Scratch Disease.

      Men and women should also be wary of any who has been medicated with antidepressants and the like; or, who have been diagnosed as suppossedly “bipolar” but the real problem is Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder. Most of these unfortunately, imo, come from traumatic childhood injury. (A UBC study shows 95% of kids have traumatic childhoods.)

      I know people been blindsided, more than once, by women claiming to have “great” parents/childhoods. Later, the guys found out otherwise.

      My own “method” of determining whether people are “still human” and not affected by psychotropic meds is to see if they still cry in a sad movie.

      On the topic of “younger women”, look up the German study, with charts, on over a million Swedes. The actual study, not the news article with inaccurate information. The charts show that men in a relationship(?) with a woman who is at least 11 years younger increases life expectancy by an incredible 8 years!

      1. Just put your money where your mouth is, 3rd guy wise. That’s what you’re going to have to do if you’re going to marry someone 11 years younger. Fairs fair, after all what’s she going to do when she hits 30, and you already have to pull out a little blue pill. Aggravation pay is what that’ll be. Then out to the stinky goat pasture for you.

    3. This is a load of crap. Many men are available. It is the women that do not make themselves available.

    4. Tell it like it is Walter! It is interesting that women here have this impression. I do know, and hear all the time about women cleaning the men of their retirement. So sad. I think all this speaks about the age we are living in this society. People are reluctant, to look to be self-reflective, and see what they can give to the community, instead of what they lack or want. We all would like to find the perfect mate. Although some of us are too independent…

      Hey, are you single? I am. Very independent and lots of fun. Secure. Pretty good looking, they say. You never know! Looking for someone to go to concerts, (classical),movies etc. Not marriage!

  8. Walt, by any chance are you suffering from a congenital penis anomaly such as phimosis or micropenis – just so you know, there is surgery for that.

  9. Truth hurts,doesn’t it Linda?
    So all you can do to make yourself feel better is to resort to a Grade 9 level insult.


  10. People people. Can’t all just get along! There’s no arguing both sides have a point in this, but in any case all a single person (man or woman) is looking for is the right person to be with. Why not find that right person here! http://www.mixerdating.com/

    This is my company. I started it recently here in Vancouver, for Vancouverites on the dating scene. My mission is to get people out dating again, face to face. We offer various types of event dating and parties for singles. If you’re interested sign up for FREE. Only pay for the events you want to attend.

    If you’re tired of being alone, or maybe just want to make some new friends, come check us out! 🙂



  11. WTH Mike! “Can’t all just get along! There’s no arguing both sides have a point in this….” – what a slimeball you are thinking that the comments of various above opinions are not offensive and somehow acceptable ewwwwwwwww… you’re so gross.

    1. sorry Linda but you had no cause to go name calling Mike , your over board and out of line , and believe me, the men above are losers the way they talk, but come on Mike I’m trying to offer an alternative to fighting
      that is why you all are single you and those a hole guys because you all are nasty

  12. ewwwwww. Bryan, i forgot what a sissy you seem to be. what loser you seem to be. you probably have erectile dysfunction at 30. you sound soooo prissy…

  13. The same guys u think have no confidence, & that are wussies who never approach woman are banging several girls a week in Mexico ..It’s all about how the woman carrys herself..Men can tell if your stuck up & if your looking HOT but convey that vbe then it’s a turn off! Change your attitude & you’ll make heads turn & get dates with men !

    1. Mexico, eh? It also works in reverse. True story: A Mexican living in East Van was having sex with as many as three women a day. Some women even came from Seattle. At a party there, he even offered one of his female Mexican friends to me. (I declined, with thanks.)

      Any women here care to chime in on this topic?

      Don’t women take Mexican holidays for anonymous sex, too? I’ve known two women, who did the “sex tourism” thing.

      1. I will chime in , Mexican men are usually more faithful then that , I have only a few and plan to move to Mexico , yes the dating scene is better because people work less and Play more , not like here it is all about the money only

  14. I know this web site gives quality independent posts and additional information, is there
    any other web page which presents such things with quality?

  15. Vancouver is a large centre and full of stories. A number of them have been written here. I just want to add that being a widower since 1998 and having tried almost every possible avenue for meeting single women, I thought I would comment. I did not actively search out a partner for 10 years after my wife’s passing as I had 2 children to raise. When they moved on, I decided to give it a try. It was not a pleasant experience and for the most part stories are similar to what has been already written by both men and women on this site. At this point and being 62 I have for the most part given up on the idea of meeting anyone. I still enjoy life and have a large group of very close friends. Someone once told me that when you stop looking then it will happen. Well I have stopped looking. I was curious to see where one would go at my age to meet and greet other single women and men. Thought I would get some ideas here. It has been an interesting read and I wish everyone all the best.

    1. Hi John: thanks so much for posting…and being so neutral about it. I have a couple of girlfriends that are single, in their mid 50’s and lovely. Is there a way that you can tell me a little about yourself? Would you be willing to?

      1. Hello Deirdre, I found myself in a situation once where someone asked me to tell them a little about myself, I think it was called “speed dating”. I would be interested in telling you more, but I do not wish to share anymore about me, than I already have with the whole community on this site. I am not a private person, but I am also not here to start a conversation with people I do not know who may want to comment on my life. I was not expecting to get a response from my original post, but thank you for reaching out. Not sure who will see my reply to your comment. Not really sure how this site works, so I am at a loss as to how I could tell you anymore about myself. If you have any suggestions, I would be willing to give them a try. Once again thank you for your reply and all the best to you and your friends.

    2. John , just be careful , you have put yourself out there as vulnerable and that woman pounced on it … not a good or safe bet , stick to doing what you love and love will happen organically , not some random net set up from a total stranger 😦 not cool

  16. There are loads, I know a bunch and I am one. Though ranting with false generalizations and being condescending about “quality” is a very good example of why many of us don’t both with women in Vancouver, you only have yourself to blame.

  17. I dont know why google brought me here when I was searching where all the pretty older ladies hang out in this town. However, I have to stop and say wow, what a depressing bunch you all are. I wish you could all read your own words from another perspective. Both men and women talking about the opposite sex like they are dirt, throwing blame around like you’re all innocent victims but expecting everything in return. Sorry to tell you it’s not the place or others that are to blame. I’ve come across many vancouver men complaining to no end about how hostile the women are here, being new to BC I haven’t found any difference from other cities I’ve lived in. It’s always the same, the better my attitude and energy the better a response I seem to get and vice versa. For those of you that travel and think every other town is so much better than vancouver, maybe you should consider getting down from that horse and having a look in the mirror, maybe it feels different simply because you don’t bring your crap attitude with you.

  18. Seb..interesting how you say “Google brought me here when I was searching where all the pretty older ladies hang out in this town.” and then go on a high and mighty rant about attitude etc etc.

    If you are so great,with the perfect attitude and all……why are you searching google on where to meet women?

  19. Hi there
    My dad is recently widowed and I helping him look for a nice lady to enjoy life! He is a healthy 66 yrs young. He is having a difficult time meeting a nice lady in vancouver. Please help!

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