Custody Battle After Divorce Poisons Children

Parents who fight over child custody and access bring out the worst in themselves and often poison their children along the way. Divorce lawyers who are stuck in the middle of high conflict family disputes often remind their clients that children deserve both a mother and a father, and that a child immersed in conflict is usually headed for a disastrous future.

Frequently, the worst of these types of conflict peter out once the children mature, interact with their peers and begin to think for themselves. Some parents also eventually recognize
their anger hurts them more than it does their ex-spouse. But not always.

A recent court case in Illinois illustrates the worst possible outcome where parents refuse to put their children first and instead continue with angry reprisals and revenge, apparently oblivious to the seeds of destruction they are sowing, for themselves and their children.

In Miner and Miner v. Garrity 2011 IL App (1st) 1103023-U the Court of Appeal dealt with a lawsuit brought against Kimblerly Garrity, mother of the plaintiffs, Steven and Kathryn, who were 20 and 18-years old when they commenced their lawsuit.

Their father, attorney Steven Miner, together with two other attorneys, filed the suit for them which claimed damages of $50,000 each, alleging their mother had intentionally or negligently inflicted emotional distress on them during their young lives.

Mr. Miner was quick to point out in media interviews that he tried to talk his two children out of filing the lawsuit, but they insisted. His protestations are unbelievable in view of the claims he advanced on their behalf.

The Garrity/Miner marriage ended after ten-years in 1995. Mr. Miner was awarded sole custody of Steven and joint custody with his ex, of Kathryn, who resided primarily with him. So how bad an access parent was Kimberly Garrity?

The children’s grievances included their distress when their mother tried unsuccessfully to obtain primary residence of Kathyrn. She also allegedly treated the children unequally, requested medical receipts from their father before she would pay her one-half share, and referred to their father as a “Disneyland” dad.

Worse yet was the claim that when her mother began living with another man, Kathryn’s distress caused her to gain weight, which was only exceeded by her mother’s gall in taking a new name when she remarried, a change that upset Kathryn.

Even more petty was Steven’s complaint that his mother forced him to wear a seatbelt when he was 7-years old, and Kathryn’s upset at her mother’s refusal to take her to a car show. Both were also slighted by either no birthday or Christmas cards, or cards that were declared inappropriate and contained no cash or check for them.

One of the “inappropriate” cards from American Greetings showed a table full of red tomatoes with the centre tomato wearing googly eye glasses. The card read “Son I got you this birthday card because it’s just like you…different from all the rest.” On the inside Steven’s mother wrote “Have a great day! Love and Hugs, Mom xoxoxox”. How insensitive!

Not surprisingly, their litany of childish complaints impressed no one and simply confirmed their outrageous sense of entitlement, immaturity and lack of gratitude. Their father’s role in their claims of “bad mothering” deserves even greater rebuke. His participation was both contemptible and shabby.

Needless to say, their lawsuit was thrown out of court, as it should have been.

Lawdiva aka Georgialee Lang

6 thoughts on “Custody Battle After Divorce Poisons Children

  1. Thankfully, the sociopath that I married is also ADD and addictive personality disorder. He and his wealthy parents obtained primary physical custody of my 3-year-old daughter in 2001 and managed to keep it for 7 years before he couldn’t hold it together. He now resides in a half-way house under almost constant psychiatric supervision. It would have majorly sucked had he been sober and a lawyer.

    He told me once, “If I put my money into a cigarette machine, the cigarettes belong to me not the machine.”

    The only answer: artificial insemination.

  2. There is such a thing as parental alienation in divorces today. Regardless there was no custody battle within the divorce. In most cases when it is a long term marriage you stayed together for the children. The adult children of the marriage side with the parent that did not initiate the divorce, regardless of what caused the break-up. They are reinforced by being provided with more expensive gifts, visitations, babysitting (which this parent had never done before), and was an absent parent when they were growing up. In return the parent that was the principal parent is alienated from family functions. What this comes down to is “who can spend the most money on them”. Somewhere along the way their family values have gone astray. It will be interesting to see how their children grow up.

  3. This does NOT surprise me a bit. Steven Miner II was the attorney for my husbands ex-wife. The ex-wife decided to follow a married man and his family to Florida, while she left four small children ages 3-7 behind in Illinois with their father. A few years later, the married man that the ex wife followed ended the relationship with her. The ex-wife ended up moving near her parents in Illinois, realized how happy her ex and children were now.. and came after them with a vengeance. The ex-wife and Steven Miner filed many petitions against my husband… with most everything being fabricated, fictitious or false. (she hired a lawyer before Steven to do this, but after a few short months and he saw the proof that the allegations were false, he removed himself as her lawyer and sued her). The ex-wife and Steven knew from the beginning they would not win, but their victory is different from yours and mine. They were playing COURTROOM TERRORISM. They just put out as many claims as possible to confuse the situation and then sat back and enjoyed the ride. The ex even started messing with the children when she started visiting again to try to get them to NOT want to visit her, so she could blame that on my husband. My husband paid lawyers heavily and court costs for 4 years until finally the final court hearing approached and he could prove every single thing was just her way of terrorizing him and his family. Right before the final hearing the ex and Steven dropped the filings. The next day, she filed bankruptcy on all court costs and all the lawyers she had used up over the years including.. Steven Miner. The catch is… Steve Miner is the attorney that filed and conducted her Bankruptcy for her!!! HOW DO THE COURTS KEEP LETTING THIS HAPPEN!!! It’s now been 8 years and we are still paying loans we had to get to cover the lawyers. The quality of life of the children went down drastically, since soooo much of our income went (and is still going) to pay for the courtroom terrorism that the state of Illinois allowed. No one can convince me the rest of the nation has this kind of court system that would allow people to take other people to court for the most idiotic reasons ever. They wouldn’t let it go on for 2-4+ years. Also, they really can say anything and then drop the case right before the final court hearing.. then they never have to prove what they originally stated is true. Very sick and heartbroken over what the kids have been through all of these years with her games.

  4. Learn why judges award sole custody to ONE parent as much as 92% of the time in many states and how to avoid this damaging scenario for your children. Every Judge, Lawyer and Parent Needs to View This Video!

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