I Like Lawyer Jokes!

Here’s a few of my favorite quotes about the learned and noble profession of law:

1. Imagine the appeals, dissents and remands if lawyers had written the Ten Commandments.
Harold Bender, Theologian

2. LAWYER: A professional advocate hired to bend the law for a paying client; for this reason considered the most suitable background for entry into politics.
The Cynic’s Dictionary

3. In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the Halls.
Lenny Bruce, Comedian

4. My daddy is a movie actor and sometimes he plays the good guy and sometimes he plays the lawyer.
Actor Harrison Ford’s son

5. Lawyers are: Those who earn a living by the sweat of their brow-beating.
James Huneker, American composer and music critic

6. The ideal client is the very wealthy man in very great trouble.
John Sterling, British author

7. A lawyer is someone who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a “brief”.
Franz Kafka, German novelist

8. He who has said “Talk is Cheap”, never hired a lawyer.
Author unknown

9. Lawyer’s Creed: A man is innocent until proven broke.
Author unknown

10. Be frank and explicit with your lawyer….It is her business to confuse the issue afterwards.
Author Unknown

Is there anything nice anybody has ever said about lawyers? God Bless Abraham Lincoln:

“Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbours to compromise whenever you can. As a peacemaker a lawyer has a superior opportunity of being a good person. There will still be business enough.”

Lawdiva aka Georgialee Lang


4 thoughts on “I Like Lawyer Jokes!

  1. One of my personal favorities is the story about two lawyers engaged in a bitter and prolonged litigation over an estate matter. The presiding judge, puzzled about the battle over what should really have been a minor issue, called both counsel to approach the bench, and expressed concern over the length of time the matter was taking and the accompanying legal costs that were being engendered.

    One counsel leaned closer to the judge, and murmured “Milord…this estate is far too lucrative to be wasted on the heirs”.

    Merry Christmas, Georgialee.

  2. A lawyer charged $100 an elderly to update her will.

    She gave him a crisp $100 bill.

    After she left, he discovered that he really had been given TWO $100 bills which were stuck together.

    Now he had a real moral dilemma …

    Should he tell his partner that he really got $200 ???

    America’s legal system has the best judges that money can buy.

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