We don’t talk anymore….

We’ve all seen that grey haired couple in a posh restaurant who order their meal and never speak another word to each other. Or perhaps you’ve seen the couple who each have a newspaper holding their rapt attention that completely obscures the face of their dining mate. You knew it couldn’t be too long until some social scientist on a government grant would study and report on this important phenomena.

A British study found that pre-marriage, romantic couples will speak to one another for 50 minutes of an hour. But it all goes down hill after that.

Immediately after marriage, conversation drops to 40 minutes per hour; after 20 years of marriage it’s only 21 minutes of the hour and after 30 years it slumps to 16 minutes.

If your marriage lasts 50 years, it is estimated that you will converse for 3 minutes of an hour. Can it be that there is nothing left to say after 50 years or is it that neither spouse can actually hear what the other is saying?

Lawdiva aka Georgialee Lang

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One thought on “We don’t talk anymore….

  1. Georgialee,

    Perhaps it’s a combination of complacency meets disinterest. Most couples that have experienced a successful long-lived marriage have developed a sense of intimacy whereby each partner knows the other so much so that there is really no undiscovered territory. That being said, there’s a high level of comfort or the “safe silence” that doesn’t reflect a boredom but rather a sense of security and comfort developed after years upon years of living and growing together.

    The challenge for most couples becomes the ongoing effort required to keep things “exciting” and “interesting.” I know for myself that becoming a creature of habit is all too easy but when you have a novel experience or stay engaged in the world around you, there’s always something to talk about!!

    I have yet to experience the stages of marriage but I know that someday when I do embark on that uncharted territory, I will make an effort, or at least have a sense of humour about the hours that are passed with my other half, lol.

    Cheers,
    Amy

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