I’ll Just Leave the Country and Pay Nothing!

DSC01152_2 (2)_2One of the most common threats a lawyer may hear from a beleaguered client is the cry that “I might as well quit work, if I have to pay that much to my ex-wife”. Another is “I’ll just leave the country and then he/she will get nothing.”

Usually these threats are spoken out of frustration and rarely are they acted upon, however, from time to time a parent will abandon his or her family, rather than obey a court order that is perceived by them to be onerous and unfair.

In a recent Ontario case, Hans Mills did just that. He left the country to avoid paying his ex-wife, Donna Mills, spousal and child support of $3772.00 per month, $2235.00 for the children and $1537.00 for his wife.

A very bleak situation for Ms. Mills who is caring for a 10-year-old with cancer in remission, a Downs Syndrome 14-year-old, a depressed teen, age 17, and a 19-year-old son on methadone treatment. How did everything go so wrong?

After separating in 2005, the Mills reached an agreement in 2008 which gave Ms. Mills sole custody of the children, and the family home, valued at $1.2 million (with a $600,000 mortgage), in exchange for a payment to Mr. Mills of $175,000. Because she received the lion’s share of the equity in the home, she agreed to forego spousal support. Mr. Mills earned approximately $100,000 per year and would pay child support.

Three years after their agreement, money issues began to simmer and a trial was scheduled to deal with the problems that had arisen, including Ms. Mill’s alleged inability to work. In an interim application before the trial, the Court ordered Mr. Mills to pay his ex-wife spousal support, including retroactive support and court costs, in spite of the fact that she had received two-thirds of the family home.

Recognizing that the interim order was a precursor to worse things to come, Mr. Mills sold his house, cashed in his pension, paid his bills, and moved to the Philippines, a country where he had done business for years and a country that had no support treaty with Ontario.

Ms. Mills had always feared he would just leave and implored the government agency that collects child and spousal support to register a lien against his house and seize his Canadian and European passports, but to no avail. And then he was gone. His email to his ex-wife read:

“The result of the legal instrument which you recently designed and implemented
is that there is no possibility of a comfortable life or a (secure) retirement for me in
Canada at all. Therefore, I have left the country to seek greener pastures elsewhere
and will never return. Well done Einstein. Good luck and good bye.”

Ms. Mills is perilously close to financial, emotional, physical, and spiritual bankruptcy, but says she will not let her children down, despite the dire circumstances.

As for “Father of the Year”, his actions are despicable. His departure was fueled by a court order to pay spousal support, which he now uses to justify his decision to stop supporting his children. He has expressed hope that one day he can reconcile with his children, “but not in Canada, a morally bankrupt state”.

It is Hans Mills that is “morally bankrupt”.

Lawdiva aka Georgialee Lang

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34 thoughts on “I’ll Just Leave the Country and Pay Nothing!

  1. I had a similar case of international flight. A woman came to me wanting advocacy assistance, as her ex-husband had gone to a foreign jurisdiction, to avoid the financial consequences of divorce Court Orders. She bought in all her documents…a box full. After a careful read, I empathized with the dad, as he had been unfairly dealt with by the Courts, even after appeal. So being a professional man and very smart, he decided to exercise a desperate option, and reestablish his career elsewhere, by leaving the country as a last resort. He never abandoned his kids, and did his best to stay in contact, over the obstruction of the mother. He bought the kids things directly, so that mother could not get her hands on money. He paid for holidays etc. He was determined not to put money into the hands of his ex-wife. Upon review of the Court material, it was clear that the father tried to make the best out of a no-win situation. It was his recourse in response to the Appeal Courts and the biased Family Law system that was subject to manipulation by the mother (and her lawyer). The documents revealed that the Courts were unwilling to see how it was manipulated, and that there were other ways of looking at the best interest of children and created dependency. It was a rare case, but it opened my eyes to how the system had been used for malevolent objectives. Even after years of loosing, the mother was still headstrong in not accepting the reality of the sad situation, and she still wanted revenge and further litigation. By the time the mother came to see me for help, one child had matured and moved out on their own, and established a normal but geographically distant relationship with the father, and had disconnected from the mother. The family lost about a million, through legal fees and mortgage foreclosure etc. Because the father was a medical professional, he could quickly move and re-establish himself. Many fathers do not have these options when they cannot pay for competent legal representation, and the taxpayer funds the other side with a seemingly bottomless pit of litigators.

  2. Im in the situation where I paid a sh-itload of money to my ex (virtually all over our liquid savings) she then went after me in the courts to pay child support and am now paying 70,000 yen a month (around $US900) and currently that eats up a third of my part time take home salary. Come January it will be closer to 4/5ths. Court is not amenable to reducing payments as they decided thats what I can afford. Unlike the above guy I can no simply disappear overseas.

  3. Dear Georgialee,

    He made 100k a year in Canada which leaves him with 53,000.

    He was shelling out most of that to child support ( not tax deductible ) leaving him with very little to even pay rent let alone live.

    And you think HE is morally bankrupt? Are you on Crack? The judge, lawyers, and the wife should all lose their licenses and be jailed for what they have done to that poor man. You should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking he is a deadbeat dad.

    She was a greedy lazy woman who used the system to cripple her husband and destroy his life and his kids lives. Men don’t leave the country to avoid paying reasonable support, which the tables currently are garbage and unreasonable. They leave or commit suicide from these types of decisions. Yet where are you with that? As of 2010 there was 2.5 BILLION in unpaid support, most likely because guess what, the Dad or mom can’t afford it. Darrin White committed suicide after he was ordered to pay twice his income to his wife.

    Ms. Mills deserves everything she gets. She should have been smart and learned the old axiom, you can shear a sheep many times but you can only skin em once. Now she is paying dearly for her laziness and stupidity.

    The fact that you think she is the victim here is the BIGGEST joke of all.

    • Completely agree with you. The system
      In Canada is absolutely ridiculous and geared towards lazy woman. There should be a legal document that a couple signs that if a woman wants to keep a child and the father wants nothing to do with it, the woman should be completely responsible. The current laws just make it possible for useless wh***s to sleep with tons of guys and have several kids to be used as a source of income instead of working like a normal person.

    • Agree with Tebsen 110% It’s time for the family court system to be flushed out and all divorce attorney and judges pay the fathers for the rest of their stupid lives.

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  6. Your interpretation of the story leaves out several key facts. The man in question was being forced to pay $48,000 a year, despite the fact that, after taxes, he only made $68,000 a year, leaving him working to the bone to live off of $20,000 a year while his wife lives in a $1.2 million dollar mansion with a guest house she can rent for $2,000 a month (more than he makes in a month after support payments). That is slavery, and no decent human being should be subject to it.

    • Why must you burst her emotional bubble of indignation with facts? She had a good witch hunt going and you had to ruin it with the truth.

    • You’d think anyone with half a brain will understand that there is no way a professional can leave and go on with his life like this!!! This is humiliating to see that judges who are supposed to be fair, just, and bilateral can’t get this!!!! Who elects these people? The lawyers who work with them all the time!!! Are they being elected by attorneys to support them after they sit on the bench. I wonder why it’s almost 90% of the fathers who loose all their assets and are left out in the cold in a divorce court? Someone please enlighten me

  7. Hans Mills is a hero. And Law Diva is a monster, destroyer of families.

    Marriage is done in the West, read the manosphere or Dalrock’s blog to learn how and why “never married” rates are skyrocketing for women.

  8. Young men, read the comments above carefully, and note the one-sided facts presented by this blogger, and the obvious anti-male sentiment… women
    outnumber men in universities, are more readily employable, are treated with favorable bias by the courts, are ineligible for the draft, live 7 years longer, always receive custody of children, and now (in the U.S.) get healthcare subsidized by men… while boys are now basically placed on Ritalin at birth in order to comply with a zero-wiggling tolerance school system employing 90% female teachers…. NEVER, EVER MARRY. My suggestion is to move overseas before they make that illegal too. Notice how the wife in this story tried to seize Mr. Mill’s passports. In another few years they’ll just place them in the custody of a family law judge on your wedding night!

    It’s also sad that the mother has obviously poisoned the minds of her children to hate their father. It’s also obvious that he’s NOT earning a six-figure salary now. Mr. Mills, if you are reading this comment – one day your boys (at least) will understand. Try to keep contact and support them creatively (i.e., without letting your wife get her fingers on your $$) as you can. Send them stuff via Ebay (used – she can’t easily sell).

    NOTE: This woman still has an equity value in her house worth half a million bucks, plus a guaranteed fixed income… plus rental income!!! I have nil sympathy for her economically.

  9. wow…This is insanity..I am a woman going through a divorce and I could never put my ex through this..how is this allowed to happen? What can I do to help? form a group? I want to help get these absorb laws changed..my new boyfriend just got told he has to pay his ex 3300.00 a month..now he has to sell everything and he will still be living below the poverty line. Where is the justice in this?

    • I agree, I am a mother and I pay two bogus support orders. Making 14.42/hr. $30,000/yr. Paying out 440.00 and 580.00 totaling 1,020/mo. being left with 1,287.00/mo. How do I live off of this without stressing and becoming ill? Now, with having to venture out to hopefully find a second job…I will be able to see my babies. I had to move from NJ to FL to be able to live. With living with fibromyalgia and not trying to be so stressed is a challenge. I am currently unemployed actively looking for work and my license is suspended due to failure to pay Nov and Dec. I can’t get to my imterviews to get a job. While I am unemployed, I still have arrears adding up.
      I was feeling this way:Judical system needs a face lift. Their laws and processes aren’t for the people. Everything that is done…the state is getting paid!!!!!
      So many cases are heard, but not listened to.
      $$$$$ rules.. truth drools!! Common sense is no longer used.
      This is heavy on me.. if they’re people out their that have been screwed or is still being screwed by the Non-Justice system… let our voices be heard! Let’s start a petition to over turn laws that existed since the 70’s. Our country is changing, so shall our laws and processes.
      If you or someone you know has been wronged by such, let’s start to change it!
      This is a democratic country right?!!!
      “One has not only legal, but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, 1 has a moral responsibilty to disobey unjust laws” Martin Luther King Jr.

  10. This is exactly my case, I just left the country to avoid paying my cheating ex-wife an amount of $4700 / month, where I was making around 6K.
    After I found that my ex had been cheating on me for years, I filed for a divorce and unfortunately was ordered by court to pay my ex an amount of $1200 for child support, and an amount of 3400 for alimony, and all of my ex attorney fees.
    I did not mind paying the child support..

    But the alimony? really Mr. Judge !! what did you want me to pay it for? A reward for her cheating ?

    Thank you No-Fault divorce law. Thank you for never considering cheating as a divorce fault, thank you for such corrupt law, you ruined my life, and my child’s life..
    I had no option but to keep some dignity and break the law by transferring all of my money, quitting my job and running away ..

    Now that I left the country, I’ll never be coming back, will get married again, will keep waiting for the day till I meet with my child , and will save every penny for the child support till that day ..

    • I advocate for tearing up our Charter of Rights and Freedoms Act. In my opinion it is so misused. How many lawyers will drag out their client’s case over years, and then ask the court to dismiss the case because it has taken too long to get to trial? This is not the case for all lawyers, so ethical lawyers relax. If lawyers were no longer able to cite the Charter in order to get a case tossed out, then we will have less time needed for trials. The Law Courts will no longer be stretched to the max, and Canadians may save millions and then some.

      I suggest tearing up the Charter because innocent capable citizens who are not a risk to themselves or others in BC have no chance to defend themselves without being afforded the same rights as criminals when detained/arrested under BC’s Mental Health Act Section 28(1). When citizens are denied their Charter Rights and call to family before being drugged and committed, we all need to take another hard look at the Charter and how it’s being used or abused!

    • I’m sorry to hear that you were driven to this. I may have to do the same or wind up in jail as a dead beat dad. And I love how we are legally bound not to tell the children the truth about what’s going on.

      • Dear Skrood; you have my sympathy and I share your pain. Unfortunately, the broken feminist system has hired old trailer trashes who have been abused or misused as social workers. These misguided people are leading and providing advise to our children!!! I wonder who and how these people get qualified and what’s the over-site process for controlling these people. My Ex showed up in court with of these goons, checking me out and providing her with advise!!! I left the country and broke the slavery chain. It’s time for the court system to wake up and smell the roses as more and more men are standing up to the corrupt judges and attorneys. It’s time to post the name of these judges who have become a hindrance in the justice system instead of public servant. It’s time for them to understand it’s the same people who put them there in the first place they are wrongfully and prejudicially. The judge who had a tendency to make a lot of mistake in my case, after giving almost all my assets to the ex and giving full custody of my children with “limited visitation” what ever the @#$# that means, would not even agree to have a hearing on support modification!!!! Tell me that’s not prejudice and unfair. If I learned one thing through 6 years of my divorce ordeal, is that, the family court is run by feminist and men have no rights. Lets get together and start a coalition to fix the system, judges, attorneys, and greedy women who fall in their trap. God bless.

  11. DAMN Your Court – I Will NOT PAY Child Support
    Let’s face it… when you get divorced, you, as the father, or the wife or girlfriend of a victim of the family court siytem and evil women, are probably not going to see the children, and if you do, it will be rarely and on the ex’s terms… why fight it? Win by not participating. Damn United States Courts. Liquidize if you have 401K’s and start over somwhere else where you don’t have to suuport your ex, because if it was about child support and the children, they’d a.) split custody with you, and b.) pay their own half while you pay yours, but that isn’t what they want. Document any communications to show youir children that their mothers are evil and that you do love them. With any luck, the mother will die old and alone and they’ll have deserved every bit of it, while you reconcile and spend time that you were deprived of together as a father and child, in another country.
    These days, I work for the government in a country that does not have a child support treaty with the US. I haven’t seen my little girl in more than five years, nor has her mother, because her mother abandoned her in Russia, and the courts still sided with her, using unproven allegations of abuse. That was all it took, and unsubstantiated allegation. My ex still isn’t with my little girl.

    If you’re a man, the worst thing you can do is pay child support, because it only drives feminist lawyers like the author, the courts, the government, and the evil women that do this, incentive to continue. They’ve already taken what is most important, us from our children, and our children from us, and if we pay, we only continue the cycle and show them that they can get away with it for others.
    Many of us men, were the sole breadwinner for years, with wives that refused to work, even if we begged them to, because they knew they would be rewarded for not working, only at the end, to have them try to shame us (as the author attempted to do – “Father of the Year, not”)… I proudly stand in contempt of court. I live in poverty in a country not of my birth, haven’t seen my child in so long, and I’ll not live in their chains. Never settle for anything less than 50 percent custody, and NO support exchanged, because they all make money off of it. Equal rights, equal responsibility, which means, that women, even with abortions, adoptions, birth control pills, which exist for men, but they won’t legalize, legal abandonment programs, and winning custody at a rate of 12 to 1, is already more than equal. They can pay their half of the support. We men don’t get any of the “equalities” afforded to women. I’ll burn in hell before I pay for her and the government.
    Proudly in defiance. Join us on facebook at Damn Your Court, I Will Not Pay Child Support, or on our new page, Coalition to End Child Support. You are NOT their slave, no matter what they tell you.

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    see а great blog like this one these daуs..

  13. Wow. This can’t be real. Do people actually do things like this in real life? I don’t believe this article. I don’t believe a father with (special needs) kids would leave his country to avoid paying child support. This article is not true. No one does that.

    • Unfortunately, they do….very few, however. I know of at least three who retained me to help them “come home”, a process of negotiating arrears of support and other terms to avoid contempt findings and jail, in some cases.

  14. After reading full the page, I agree that province laws in Canada are in favor of women. It is ridiculous laws been enforced, that badly effect living standards. sometimes, I have to live in Canada where every thing is expansive, higher taxes, long waiting time in hospitals, over competition in jobs, immigration flooding, over stressed laws, matrimonial homes, divorces complications, lawyers rip off, not higher wages/increments, and several others. Over all, strongly suggest to amend family laws/enforcement laws.

  15. There are obviously lawyers making comments on this page. Why is it that no one commented on the illegality of taking away a Canadian mans passport to prevent him from leaving Canada? Our Charter of Rights and Freedoms guarantees us the right to enter Canada and leave Canada. When I divorced I gave away freely the house and furniture. I never even hired a lawyer. When the ex-wife mentioned alimony I said I would leave Canada and go to a country with no treaty with Canada. (I have lived abroad before and this was no idle threat) But first I would hire a lawyer and fight. I suggested she call what she got a win. Fortunately she did. We had no kids so no alimony. I considered myself lucky to just be losing everything. That’s a win. Most of my friends who divorce lose everything they have and everything they ever will have. Our constitutional rights trump this female extortion racket and any good lawyer should defend that. I think that these mercenary Canadian ladies should consider this small fact. Even if they take away a mans passport there is a lot of Canadian wilderness to live in. On principle I would go there rather than be forced to pay anyone. Involuntary servitude is a crime against humanity. It’s a form of slavery. It does not matter that our corrupt system promotes this. The German legal system supported what they did too, but the “good Nazi” defense did not hold up at the Nuremberg trials. There is no statute of limitations on crimes against humanity.
    A man only needs to share his food and his fire with people who choose to live with him.

  16. Our feminist dictatoship hurts women by ruining men, because all women depend on exploitation of men. Everything around us was built and invented by men, women did not put one brick. The only way to increase exploitation of men is to increase productivity of men. But, feminists and collaborators decrease productivity of men. Feminists are anti-men, not pro-women. Feminists would ruin 2 women to ruin 1 man. TS

  17. I left the U.S. more than five years ago and have secured second citizenship. I will never go back to the U.S. I will never see my children again. I had a standard boilerplate divorce with false charges, threats of jail, ruinous support demands, and the loss of everything I worked for stretching back 15 years. I said “no” and left. Now she’s on welfare and every other public thing only women ever qualify for and of course that’s on my tab as well. Funny thing about unpayable debts though, they don’t get paid. I have a new life, new job, new possibilities and I am happy abroad. I miss my children terribly but I wouldn’t have seen them from jail either and debtors prison is allowable for ‘dead beats’ like myself. Don’t believe anyone who tells you that child support is some moral debt you must pay. It is nothing more than a ransom you are forced to pay at gunpoint to someone who forbids you from seeing your own children. It is no different than kidnapping with state enforced payments.

    I’m sure my ex now enjoys her “independence” working, starving, scraping by because she tried to enslave someone and the damn slave quit. How morally awful. That slave should be punished. I did 4 years of worry, knowing full well that massa would never forgive an uppity slave who left the plantation without his permission. How dare you not meet cotton quota slave! In what other realm is someone sticking a gun in your face and demanding money declared “moral” oh but we call it child support so *you* are actually the evil one if you can’t meet our demands (and believe me those demands will be very VERY heavy). The west is dying and good riddance. You have labeled good for evil and viciously and mercilessly enforced it. You want me to take care of my children then give them to me – I will love them, support them, feed them, clothe them, and help them as I can but I will not pretend or tolerate your demanding money under penalty of prison and labor camps is the same as love.

    • Who is hurt? The group of victims include father, kids, grandparents, extended family and society. No matter how big is this group, it will always include men and women 50-50. This means that our feminist dictatorship hurts men and women equally. Feminists help destructive woman destroy our society and herself at the end. The misconception that women profit from feminism attracts women and fuels our dictatorship. TS

      • Well said, it’s all a TRAP created by greedy attorneys who add more fuel to fire to create animosity between the poor couples who trust them with their life and all their assets. It’s their bread and butter, you think the court or the attorneys care, who gets hurt!!! The more the merrier. Have you been in your attorney’s office lately, my attorney’s office was a posh corner office in high rent downtown high rise. Ever wonder where they get the money to pay for that? It’s your money! What is the first thing an attorney have you do when you enter their office? To fill out an information sheet, this is to evaluate your (couple’s) financial situation, another word how much money they can make off of you!!! These are the wolves in sheep clothing. The only thing they are interested in is how to prolong the process, increase their billable hours and to fill their own pockets. Yes meanwhile the families are thorn apart while the shameless attorneys are laughing their way to the bank. Of course there are some good attorneys which I have not had a pleasure to meet yet, If there is one who is reading these postings, please stand up and introduce yourselves, because I know a lot of poor divorced fathers who are looking for an honest attorney who has their interest in mind and love to meet a good attorney.
        Attorneys are businessmen or women who work with judges, their boss, on daily basis, their first priority is not to offend or point out the judges mistake at any cost. You’ll rarely find an attorney who will voice your (men’s) interest in front of a judge. If the judge doesn’t like your attorney, you are SOL. Judges usually set up what’s called a conciliation meetings, these meetings are set up to rehearse what the judge will accept to be the outcome of the case shall be. If you really like to know how much weight your attorney will carry ask him to participate in a conciliation meeting, it is your legal right to be present in your own conciliation meetings. The first time you get a hint that a judge is not in tune with you, or your attorney you may want to stop the proceeding and save yourself tons of money in litigation expenses. My best advise for men: do not get involved in this rat race at all and if you do, do not hire an attorney It’s a waste of your hard earned money, first of all. Secondly, nothing frustrates your wife’s attorney more to deal with you directly. This is the worst pain you can inflict on her. There are tons of good books and resources to help you how to deal with your ex’s to be attorney and her.

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