I’ll Just Leave the Country and Pay Nothing!

DSC01152_2 (2)_2One of the most common threats a lawyer may hear from a beleaguered client is the cry that “I might as well quit work, if I have to pay that much to my ex-wife”. Another is “I’ll just leave the country and then he/she will get nothing.”

Usually these threats are spoken out of frustration and rarely are they acted upon, however, from time to time a parent will abandon his or her family, rather than obey a court order that is perceived by them to be onerous and unfair.

In a recent Ontario case, Hans Mills did just that. He left the country to avoid paying his ex-wife, Donna Mills, spousal and child support of $3772.00 per month, $2235.00 for the children and $1537.00 for his wife.

A very bleak situation for Ms. Mills who is caring for a 10-year-old with cancer in remission, a Downs Syndrome 14-year-old, a depressed teen, age 17, and a 19-year-old son on methadone treatment. How did everything go so wrong?

After separating in 2005, the Mills reached an agreement in 2008 which gave Ms. Mills sole custody of the children, and the family home, valued at $1.2 million (with a $600,000 mortgage), in exchange for a payment to Mr. Mills of $175,000. Because she received the lion’s share of the equity in the home, she agreed to forego spousal support. Mr. Mills earned approximately $100,000 per year and would pay child support.

Three years after their agreement, money issues began to simmer and a trial was scheduled to deal with the problems that had arisen, including Ms. Mill’s alleged inability to work. In an interim application before the trial, the Court ordered Mr. Mills to pay his ex-wife spousal support, including retroactive support and court costs, in spite of the fact that she had received two-thirds of the family home.

Recognizing that the interim order was a precursor to worse things to come, Mr. Mills sold his house, cashed in his pension, paid his bills, and moved to the Philippines, a country where he had done business for years and a country that had no support treaty with Ontario.

Ms. Mills had always feared he would just leave and implored the government agency that collects child and spousal support to register a lien against his house and seize his Canadian and European passports, but to no avail. And then he was gone. His email to his ex-wife read:

“The result of the legal instrument which you recently designed and implemented
is that there is no possibility of a comfortable life or a (secure) retirement for me in
Canada at all. Therefore, I have left the country to seek greener pastures elsewhere
and will never return. Well done Einstein. Good luck and good bye.”

Ms. Mills is perilously close to financial, emotional, physical, and spiritual bankruptcy, but says she will not let her children down, despite the dire circumstances.

As for “Father of the Year”, his actions are despicable. His departure was fueled by a court order to pay spousal support, which he now uses to justify his decision to stop supporting his children. He has expressed hope that one day he can reconcile with his children, “but not in Canada, a morally bankrupt state”.

It is Hans Mills that is “morally bankrupt”.

Lawdiva aka Georgialee Lang

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63 thoughts on “I’ll Just Leave the Country and Pay Nothing!

  1. I had a similar case of international flight. A woman came to me wanting advocacy assistance, as her ex-husband had gone to a foreign jurisdiction, to avoid the financial consequences of divorce Court Orders. She bought in all her documents…a box full. After a careful read, I empathized with the dad, as he had been unfairly dealt with by the Courts, even after appeal. So being a professional man and very smart, he decided to exercise a desperate option, and reestablish his career elsewhere, by leaving the country as a last resort. He never abandoned his kids, and did his best to stay in contact, over the obstruction of the mother. He bought the kids things directly, so that mother could not get her hands on money. He paid for holidays etc. He was determined not to put money into the hands of his ex-wife. Upon review of the Court material, it was clear that the father tried to make the best out of a no-win situation. It was his recourse in response to the Appeal Courts and the biased Family Law system that was subject to manipulation by the mother (and her lawyer). The documents revealed that the Courts were unwilling to see how it was manipulated, and that there were other ways of looking at the best interest of children and created dependency. It was a rare case, but it opened my eyes to how the system had been used for malevolent objectives. Even after years of loosing, the mother was still headstrong in not accepting the reality of the sad situation, and she still wanted revenge and further litigation. By the time the mother came to see me for help, one child had matured and moved out on their own, and established a normal but geographically distant relationship with the father, and had disconnected from the mother. The family lost about a million, through legal fees and mortgage foreclosure etc. Because the father was a medical professional, he could quickly move and re-establish himself. Many fathers do not have these options when they cannot pay for competent legal representation, and the taxpayer funds the other side with a seemingly bottomless pit of litigators.

  2. Im in the situation where I paid a sh-itload of money to my ex (virtually all over our liquid savings) she then went after me in the courts to pay child support and am now paying 70,000 yen a month (around $US900) and currently that eats up a third of my part time take home salary. Come January it will be closer to 4/5ths. Court is not amenable to reducing payments as they decided thats what I can afford. Unlike the above guy I can no simply disappear overseas.

  3. Dear Georgialee,

    He made 100k a year in Canada which leaves him with 53,000.

    He was shelling out most of that to child support ( not tax deductible ) leaving him with very little to even pay rent let alone live.

    And you think HE is morally bankrupt? Are you on Crack? The judge, lawyers, and the wife should all lose their licenses and be jailed for what they have done to that poor man. You should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking he is a deadbeat dad.

    She was a greedy lazy woman who used the system to cripple her husband and destroy his life and his kids lives. Men don’t leave the country to avoid paying reasonable support, which the tables currently are garbage and unreasonable. They leave or commit suicide from these types of decisions. Yet where are you with that? As of 2010 there was 2.5 BILLION in unpaid support, most likely because guess what, the Dad or mom can’t afford it. Darrin White committed suicide after he was ordered to pay twice his income to his wife.

    Ms. Mills deserves everything she gets. She should have been smart and learned the old axiom, you can shear a sheep many times but you can only skin em once. Now she is paying dearly for her laziness and stupidity.

    The fact that you think she is the victim here is the BIGGEST joke of all.

    • Completely agree with you. The system
      In Canada is absolutely ridiculous and geared towards lazy woman. There should be a legal document that a couple signs that if a woman wants to keep a child and the father wants nothing to do with it, the woman should be completely responsible. The current laws just make it possible for useless wh***s to sleep with tons of guys and have several kids to be used as a source of income instead of working like a normal person.

      • Same in New Zealand,I’m so depressed I’ve been thinking about killing my self for the last 7 years.It’s not right to destroy a man from falsely claimed moral high ground,impoverish him,reduce his ability to be his kid’s hero,removing his ability to provide for his family and destroying his self worth.I have grieved for myself and my son who I would have ideally had grown up with siblings and a solid family unit.The woman always new I did not want to have children because of my fearful childhood,OF WHICH was not ever brought into our relationship or my sons.When she told me she was pregnant she barricaded herself behind furniture like a naughty child,I think she thought this would make me snap,I just cried and tried to pretend I was happy and said that I would support her no matter what.She replied that I don’t have to be named,it doesn’t have to be mine.I tried to have an honest go of things,bought everything for a household,family car and it wiped out my deposit on a house.
        He was conceived after we had split up out of what I perceive as spite and selfishness on her part and poor judgement on mine.I love my son more than my life which is also probably the only thing keeping me going…his right to a dad who loves him.These days though I wonder what negative influence or use an anxious,depressed father has.

        I am now 32 years old and on a sickness benefit that just sustains me,my anxiety is like the fear of death,it makes me feel sick and I see no hope.I was a responsible person who worked hard,10 years paying my taxes as a Plumber and 3 years as a soldier, a few others during my teens.I now have nothing and frequently feel demolished and hopeless at any future that fixes anything.

        Child support makes it possible for career Welfare Mums to exist,it also enslaves honourable fathers doing the best they can.I Sometime’s wish that maybe the state kept out of it and that the woman’s family would have to support her first so that she would be accountable for her actions it would also have inherent other benefits like her being answerable to someone for her action’s(not bringing strange men home,drugs/alcohol) and her parents footing the bill for the negative aspect’s of her upbringing.Also if the father doesn’t want to support his child he probably shouldn’t be around the child and this would be a self governing arrangement.The woman who failed her relationship would have at least brought the child into an example of a relationship that works with both a good male and female roll model and have 3 times the adult support instead of one part time mum and daycare.
        Aside from reality not being that utopian you could at least have a case by case support arrangement instead of society freely working to degrade it’s self in guaranteed career welfare checks.Giving all the power of your self determination to the state is giving up on life and leeching off other’s even if you deserve a break hard done by legitimate “school of hard knocks” women.

        I’m considering leaving the country for good in pursuit of a meaningful life of prosperity and self determination so as to make something of my self,perhaps become a roll model that does not let a slavery law dictate how far he can rise in life.With tax and child support half of what I would earn of not much at all,for my education and Current Health more over is about the same as being a sickness beneficiary of the state.For the past 4 years I have thought it would be an impossible catch 22 to leave my son for a career offshore that made me independent financially but heartbroken and guilty for not trying to be there for my son.I have a rage inside me that turns to tears.

        If I was to leave what countries would be best as far as having no agreements with my home government in New Zealand.

    • Agree with Tebsen 110% It’s time for the family court system to be flushed out and all divorce attorney and judges pay the fathers for the rest of their stupid lives.

    • I agree……..The Court should not leave a person destitute! Shame on them! BUT,……….The man SHOULD definitely, ON HIS OWN, be sending money to his ex wife for their children! The Court should NOT have to tell him this! He should WANT to do it! They ARE his kids, she is taking care of them and there is no reason in the world he should not be, sending them money each month to help pay for their food, shelter, electricity they use, clothing, medical insurance, etc. It IS despicable IF he is NOT sending money each month to them. He should keep copies of the canceled checks as proof of he is helping to support his children. IF he is not sending support money for his children, he SHOULD be ashamed of himself!

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  6. Your interpretation of the story leaves out several key facts. The man in question was being forced to pay $48,000 a year, despite the fact that, after taxes, he only made $68,000 a year, leaving him working to the bone to live off of $20,000 a year while his wife lives in a $1.2 million dollar mansion with a guest house she can rent for $2,000 a month (more than he makes in a month after support payments). That is slavery, and no decent human being should be subject to it.

    • Why must you burst her emotional bubble of indignation with facts? She had a good witch hunt going and you had to ruin it with the truth.

    • You’d think anyone with half a brain will understand that there is no way a professional can leave and go on with his life like this!!! This is humiliating to see that judges who are supposed to be fair, just, and bilateral can’t get this!!!! Who elects these people? The lawyers who work with them all the time!!! Are they being elected by attorneys to support them after they sit on the bench. I wonder why it’s almost 90% of the fathers who loose all their assets and are left out in the cold in a divorce court? Someone please enlighten me

  7. Hans Mills is a hero. And Law Diva is a monster, destroyer of families.

    Marriage is done in the West, read the manosphere or Dalrock’s blog to learn how and why “never married” rates are skyrocketing for women.

  8. Young men, read the comments above carefully, and note the one-sided facts presented by this blogger, and the obvious anti-male sentiment… women
    outnumber men in universities, are more readily employable, are treated with favorable bias by the courts, are ineligible for the draft, live 7 years longer, always receive custody of children, and now (in the U.S.) get healthcare subsidized by men… while boys are now basically placed on Ritalin at birth in order to comply with a zero-wiggling tolerance school system employing 90% female teachers…. NEVER, EVER MARRY. My suggestion is to move overseas before they make that illegal too. Notice how the wife in this story tried to seize Mr. Mill’s passports. In another few years they’ll just place them in the custody of a family law judge on your wedding night!

    It’s also sad that the mother has obviously poisoned the minds of her children to hate their father. It’s also obvious that he’s NOT earning a six-figure salary now. Mr. Mills, if you are reading this comment – one day your boys (at least) will understand. Try to keep contact and support them creatively (i.e., without letting your wife get her fingers on your $$) as you can. Send them stuff via Ebay (used – she can’t easily sell).

    NOTE: This woman still has an equity value in her house worth half a million bucks, plus a guaranteed fixed income… plus rental income!!! I have nil sympathy for her economically.

  9. wow…This is insanity..I am a woman going through a divorce and I could never put my ex through this..how is this allowed to happen? What can I do to help? form a group? I want to help get these absorb laws changed..my new boyfriend just got told he has to pay his ex 3300.00 a month..now he has to sell everything and he will still be living below the poverty line. Where is the justice in this?

    • I agree, I am a mother and I pay two bogus support orders. Making 14.42/hr. $30,000/yr. Paying out 440.00 and 580.00 totaling 1,020/mo. being left with 1,287.00/mo. How do I live off of this without stressing and becoming ill? Now, with having to venture out to hopefully find a second job…I will be able to see my babies. I had to move from NJ to FL to be able to live. With living with fibromyalgia and not trying to be so stressed is a challenge. I am currently unemployed actively looking for work and my license is suspended due to failure to pay Nov and Dec. I can’t get to my imterviews to get a job. While I am unemployed, I still have arrears adding up.
      I was feeling this way:Judical system needs a face lift. Their laws and processes aren’t for the people. Everything that is done…the state is getting paid!!!!!
      So many cases are heard, but not listened to.
      $$$$$ rules.. truth drools!! Common sense is no longer used.
      This is heavy on me.. if they’re people out their that have been screwed or is still being screwed by the Non-Justice system… let our voices be heard! Let’s start a petition to over turn laws that existed since the 70’s. Our country is changing, so shall our laws and processes.
      If you or someone you know has been wronged by such, let’s start to change it!
      This is a democratic country right?!!!
      “One has not only legal, but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, 1 has a moral responsibilty to disobey unjust laws” Martin Luther King Jr.

  10. This is exactly my case, I just left the country to avoid paying my cheating ex-wife an amount of $4700 / month, where I was making around 6K.
    After I found that my ex had been cheating on me for years, I filed for a divorce and unfortunately was ordered by court to pay my ex an amount of $1200 for child support, and an amount of 3400 for alimony, and all of my ex attorney fees.
    I did not mind paying the child support..

    But the alimony? really Mr. Judge !! what did you want me to pay it for? A reward for her cheating ?

    Thank you No-Fault divorce law. Thank you for never considering cheating as a divorce fault, thank you for such corrupt law, you ruined my life, and my child’s life..
    I had no option but to keep some dignity and break the law by transferring all of my money, quitting my job and running away ..

    Now that I left the country, I’ll never be coming back, will get married again, will keep waiting for the day till I meet with my child , and will save every penny for the child support till that day ..

    • I advocate for tearing up our Charter of Rights and Freedoms Act. In my opinion it is so misused. How many lawyers will drag out their client’s case over years, and then ask the court to dismiss the case because it has taken too long to get to trial? This is not the case for all lawyers, so ethical lawyers relax. If lawyers were no longer able to cite the Charter in order to get a case tossed out, then we will have less time needed for trials. The Law Courts will no longer be stretched to the max, and Canadians may save millions and then some.

      I suggest tearing up the Charter because innocent capable citizens who are not a risk to themselves or others in BC have no chance to defend themselves without being afforded the same rights as criminals when detained/arrested under BC’s Mental Health Act Section 28(1). When citizens are denied their Charter Rights and call to family before being drugged and committed, we all need to take another hard look at the Charter and how it’s being used or abused!

    • I’m sorry to hear that you were driven to this. I may have to do the same or wind up in jail as a dead beat dad. And I love how we are legally bound not to tell the children the truth about what’s going on.

      • Dear Skrood; you have my sympathy and I share your pain. Unfortunately, the broken feminist system has hired old trailer trashes who have been abused or misused as social workers. These misguided people are leading and providing advise to our children!!! I wonder who and how these people get qualified and what’s the over-site process for controlling these people. My Ex showed up in court with of these goons, checking me out and providing her with advise!!! I left the country and broke the slavery chain. It’s time for the court system to wake up and smell the roses as more and more men are standing up to the corrupt judges and attorneys. It’s time to post the name of these judges who have become a hindrance in the justice system instead of public servant. It’s time for them to understand it’s the same people who put them there in the first place they are wrongfully and prejudicially. The judge who had a tendency to make a lot of mistake in my case, after giving almost all my assets to the ex and giving full custody of my children with “limited visitation” what ever the @#$# that means, would not even agree to have a hearing on support modification!!!! Tell me that’s not prejudice and unfair. If I learned one thing through 6 years of my divorce ordeal, is that, the family court is run by feminist and men have no rights. Lets get together and start a coalition to fix the system, judges, attorneys, and greedy women who fall in their trap. God bless.

  11. DAMN Your Court – I Will NOT PAY Child Support
    Let’s face it… when you get divorced, you, as the father, or the wife or girlfriend of a victim of the family court siytem and evil women, are probably not going to see the children, and if you do, it will be rarely and on the ex’s terms… why fight it? Win by not participating. Damn United States Courts. Liquidize if you have 401K’s and start over somwhere else where you don’t have to suuport your ex, because if it was about child support and the children, they’d a.) split custody with you, and b.) pay their own half while you pay yours, but that isn’t what they want. Document any communications to show youir children that their mothers are evil and that you do love them. With any luck, the mother will die old and alone and they’ll have deserved every bit of it, while you reconcile and spend time that you were deprived of together as a father and child, in another country.
    These days, I work for the government in a country that does not have a child support treaty with the US. I haven’t seen my little girl in more than five years, nor has her mother, because her mother abandoned her in Russia, and the courts still sided with her, using unproven allegations of abuse. That was all it took, and unsubstantiated allegation. My ex still isn’t with my little girl.

    If you’re a man, the worst thing you can do is pay child support, because it only drives feminist lawyers like the author, the courts, the government, and the evil women that do this, incentive to continue. They’ve already taken what is most important, us from our children, and our children from us, and if we pay, we only continue the cycle and show them that they can get away with it for others.
    Many of us men, were the sole breadwinner for years, with wives that refused to work, even if we begged them to, because they knew they would be rewarded for not working, only at the end, to have them try to shame us (as the author attempted to do – “Father of the Year, not”)… I proudly stand in contempt of court. I live in poverty in a country not of my birth, haven’t seen my child in so long, and I’ll not live in their chains. Never settle for anything less than 50 percent custody, and NO support exchanged, because they all make money off of it. Equal rights, equal responsibility, which means, that women, even with abortions, adoptions, birth control pills, which exist for men, but they won’t legalize, legal abandonment programs, and winning custody at a rate of 12 to 1, is already more than equal. They can pay their half of the support. We men don’t get any of the “equalities” afforded to women. I’ll burn in hell before I pay for her and the government.
    Proudly in defiance. Join us on facebook at Damn Your Court, I Will Not Pay Child Support, or on our new page, Coalition to End Child Support. You are NOT their slave, no matter what they tell you.

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  13. Wow. This can’t be real. Do people actually do things like this in real life? I don’t believe this article. I don’t believe a father with (special needs) kids would leave his country to avoid paying child support. This article is not true. No one does that.

    • Unfortunately, they do….very few, however. I know of at least three who retained me to help them “come home”, a process of negotiating arrears of support and other terms to avoid contempt findings and jail, in some cases.

  14. After reading full the page, I agree that province laws in Canada are in favor of women. It is ridiculous laws been enforced, that badly effect living standards. sometimes, I have to live in Canada where every thing is expansive, higher taxes, long waiting time in hospitals, over competition in jobs, immigration flooding, over stressed laws, matrimonial homes, divorces complications, lawyers rip off, not higher wages/increments, and several others. Over all, strongly suggest to amend family laws/enforcement laws.

  15. There are obviously lawyers making comments on this page. Why is it that no one commented on the illegality of taking away a Canadian mans passport to prevent him from leaving Canada? Our Charter of Rights and Freedoms guarantees us the right to enter Canada and leave Canada. When I divorced I gave away freely the house and furniture. I never even hired a lawyer. When the ex-wife mentioned alimony I said I would leave Canada and go to a country with no treaty with Canada. (I have lived abroad before and this was no idle threat) But first I would hire a lawyer and fight. I suggested she call what she got a win. Fortunately she did. We had no kids so no alimony. I considered myself lucky to just be losing everything. That’s a win. Most of my friends who divorce lose everything they have and everything they ever will have. Our constitutional rights trump this female extortion racket and any good lawyer should defend that. I think that these mercenary Canadian ladies should consider this small fact. Even if they take away a mans passport there is a lot of Canadian wilderness to live in. On principle I would go there rather than be forced to pay anyone. Involuntary servitude is a crime against humanity. It’s a form of slavery. It does not matter that our corrupt system promotes this. The German legal system supported what they did too, but the “good Nazi” defense did not hold up at the Nuremberg trials. There is no statute of limitations on crimes against humanity.
    A man only needs to share his food and his fire with people who choose to live with him.

  16. Our feminist dictatoship hurts women by ruining men, because all women depend on exploitation of men. Everything around us was built and invented by men, women did not put one brick. The only way to increase exploitation of men is to increase productivity of men. But, feminists and collaborators decrease productivity of men. Feminists are anti-men, not pro-women. Feminists would ruin 2 women to ruin 1 man. TS

  17. I left the U.S. more than five years ago and have secured second citizenship. I will never go back to the U.S. I will never see my children again. I had a standard boilerplate divorce with false charges, threats of jail, ruinous support demands, and the loss of everything I worked for stretching back 15 years. I said “no” and left. Now she’s on welfare and every other public thing only women ever qualify for and of course that’s on my tab as well. Funny thing about unpayable debts though, they don’t get paid. I have a new life, new job, new possibilities and I am happy abroad. I miss my children terribly but I wouldn’t have seen them from jail either and debtors prison is allowable for ‘dead beats’ like myself. Don’t believe anyone who tells you that child support is some moral debt you must pay. It is nothing more than a ransom you are forced to pay at gunpoint to someone who forbids you from seeing your own children. It is no different than kidnapping with state enforced payments.

    I’m sure my ex now enjoys her “independence” working, starving, scraping by because she tried to enslave someone and the damn slave quit. How morally awful. That slave should be punished. I did 4 years of worry, knowing full well that massa would never forgive an uppity slave who left the plantation without his permission. How dare you not meet cotton quota slave! In what other realm is someone sticking a gun in your face and demanding money declared “moral” oh but we call it child support so *you* are actually the evil one if you can’t meet our demands (and believe me those demands will be very VERY heavy). The west is dying and good riddance. You have labeled good for evil and viciously and mercilessly enforced it. You want me to take care of my children then give them to me – I will love them, support them, feed them, clothe them, and help them as I can but I will not pretend or tolerate your demanding money under penalty of prison and labor camps is the same as love.

    • Who is hurt? The group of victims include father, kids, grandparents, extended family and society. No matter how big is this group, it will always include men and women 50-50. This means that our feminist dictatorship hurts men and women equally. Feminists help destructive woman destroy our society and herself at the end. The misconception that women profit from feminism attracts women and fuels our dictatorship. TS

      • Well said, it’s all a TRAP created by greedy attorneys who add more fuel to fire to create animosity between the poor couples who trust them with their life and all their assets. It’s their bread and butter, you think the court or the attorneys care, who gets hurt!!! The more the merrier. Have you been in your attorney’s office lately, my attorney’s office was a posh corner office in high rent downtown high rise. Ever wonder where they get the money to pay for that? It’s your money! What is the first thing an attorney have you do when you enter their office? To fill out an information sheet, this is to evaluate your (couple’s) financial situation, another word how much money they can make off of you!!! These are the wolves in sheep clothing. The only thing they are interested in is how to prolong the process, increase their billable hours and to fill their own pockets. Yes meanwhile the families are thorn apart while the shameless attorneys are laughing their way to the bank. Of course there are some good attorneys which I have not had a pleasure to meet yet, If there is one who is reading these postings, please stand up and introduce yourselves, because I know a lot of poor divorced fathers who are looking for an honest attorney who has their interest in mind and love to meet a good attorney.
        Attorneys are businessmen or women who work with judges, their boss, on daily basis, their first priority is not to offend or point out the judges mistake at any cost. You’ll rarely find an attorney who will voice your (men’s) interest in front of a judge. If the judge doesn’t like your attorney, you are SOL. Judges usually set up what’s called a conciliation meetings, these meetings are set up to rehearse what the judge will accept to be the outcome of the case shall be. If you really like to know how much weight your attorney will carry ask him to participate in a conciliation meeting, it is your legal right to be present in your own conciliation meetings. The first time you get a hint that a judge is not in tune with you, or your attorney you may want to stop the proceeding and save yourself tons of money in litigation expenses. My best advise for men: do not get involved in this rat race at all and if you do, do not hire an attorney It’s a waste of your hard earned money, first of all. Secondly, nothing frustrates your wife’s attorney more to deal with you directly. This is the worst pain you can inflict on her. There are tons of good books and resources to help you how to deal with your ex’s to be attorney and her.

  18. First off, I have no sympathy for the dog known as Donna Mills. After taxes, unless the man is making 250 k minimum a year, no one can pay 48000 a year, which will only increase because of our shitty
    Law systems. I hate the judges and attorneys involved since they only make the problem worse by getting a cut in every divorce. Since the law obviously favors one side, I’d run too. In fact, if I can’t I’d rather join a corrupt military or become a terrorist than pay for slavery. The only real winners in a divorce are the lawyer, attorneys, feminist groups, and shithead judges. So unless she is missing two hands or legs, get a job. For those hard working women who are dealing with genuinely bad dads, I have no problem wih tier pursuits. For those who want to use support as a meal ticket f you. And for all those who sympathize with this broken system:رایت در جهنم از همه شما!

  19. P.S I am aware of my misspelling of their. Also, let me make this clear Hans Mills is no saint, but its hard to argue why that additional 1500 drove him away after his ex got more than a fair share, including court costs. On a side note, I hope the court does away with the double standards for once and throws the book at Laura Coward. Family laws needs to be restructured to protect children rather than fulfill one’s revenge.

  20. Hello all.
    I make 8.5K per month. she makes 9.5k per month. We have 2 kids. She wants me out of the picture completely and would love if I disappeared completely. My parents have not been allowed to see their Grandchildren ( grandpa is quite ill overseas) because she cannot bear the thought of them playing with them, speaking in a different ethnic language- not to mention holding them.

    She had attacked me several times while I held one of the babies. She wouldn’t let me feed them, kiss them buy before leaving for work- and would not allow them to be bottle fed by me. She would repeatedly accuse me of harassment and that she would call the cops on me for that same reason.

    She took me to court not wanting to negotiate anything. I am now paying75% of my monthly salary as childsupport and have just enough to pay the rent. She has an extra 6000$ left over and is going on spending sprees- looking better than ever. She has a babysitter taking care of the kids from morning till nightfall and does not give much of a shit about them

    The good part in all this is I can see my extended family again and not fear tension around me. It is peaceful and quiet and I can see my children and be the good dad I am. We have a great time together but she tends to be jealous when she sees me involved with them…

    How can I live a life of an indentured financial servant and at the same time fear being alienated from the children. Can I allow for my children to pity me when they grow up ( think that is the best possible scenario if she does not alienate them from me)

    The American Dream was in the palm of my hand and then it slipped away like a jellyfish in the vast blue seas…

    • I want you put your story on one page, with family pics on top, and distribute in public places. Dont mention our feminist dictatorship, just your personal experience. And if you can inspire someone to fight, meet or organize – even better.

  21. Why have a blog if you’re not going to reply to any posts that calls you out, people in the posts make valid points that after you accommodate tax and support the ex husband would have had pennies to live on.

    To me the logical conclusion had I been the judge is that she should sell her house and move into a cheap house rather than squeezing more money out of her ex. If anything the fact that her kids are sick and require additional care implies that the state should step in and support her using the tax money her husband pays into the system.

    • Perhaps a bit of background would assist you. I have advocated for men’s rights in family court for 26 years, often a lone voice amongst my legal colleagues. I have been unafraid to challenge the family law justice system which I say is biased against men. I have spoken and written prolifically on topics including a denunciation of the evils of parental alienation and child abduction, where fathers are typically the victims, and I have been vocal in my support of a presumption of shared parenting. I sympathize with Mr. Mill’s plight in so far as he in good faith negotiated a fair deal that gave his wife the family home in exchange for her waiver of spousal support.

      What I cannot condone, however, is his refusal to pay child support. He brought these children into the world and it is unconscionable that he refuses to support them, all because his wife was awarded spousal support. His decision to leave Canada permanently is his choice, but his failure to send funds to support his children is legally and morally wrong.

      The notion that we as taxpayers should fulfill his financial obligations is unseemly. Since Mr. Mills no longer pays tax in Canada, he is contributing nothing.

      This article written almost 2 years ago continues to bring out strong emotions and everyone is entitled to their opinion, as am I. Thank you for adding your opinion to this dialogue.

      • Well, did he have a choice? Was it optional for him just to pay for child support and not the spousal support? Court orders were called to squeeze his life to the extreme limit. He would most probably face jail time even if he committed to pay for his kids. There wasn’t any option for him but just to leave, and hope to reconcile with the children overseas.

        That’s what I exactly did in my divorce as I mentioned earlier, and I will never pay a single penny till I make sure it goes directly to my child.

      • If you want him to take care of his children – give them to him. Do NOT claim moral superiority when you have the state stick a gun in his face and demand money which you spend. There is no way this is moral I don’t care how you name it. Caring for a child isn’t writing a check its making a bed, helping with the homework, getting them clothes, feeding them, housing them. You and women like you simply want a free ride an excuse to steal from someone and stick a gun in someones face to feather your own nest.

      • @Georgialee Lang. Seriously? You think, after his wife practically forced him out of the country, half way around the world, where he cannot see his kids on a regular basis, he should STILL pay something? If you are not allowed to BE a dad, you cannot be expected to PAY for it either. I am sure this is a horrible situation for him, but the wife, lawyers and/or courts forced his hand. It is incredible that you can support a verdict that is clearly completely unfair.

      • I sympathise with him but I agree with you that he should pay the child maintenance. As I see it the whole process is about the money, the children have been forgotten. If the kids were really being considered then the first order of business would be to ensure equal custody with each parent having some basic rights to a home for the kids. But I don’t see that, what I see is a system where one parent uses the kids as a means of extorting money from the other. What’s wrong with everybody when they think this is the best way to benifit the kids. Kids don’t give a dam about money, adults do. The woman who needs a huge house and car and spending money is not thinking about the kids, she is thinking about herself. It is a given that the kids come first but when did they become a comodity to be used to secure personal gain from. I miss my kids every single day but I still pay for the things they need but while I am prevented from having them on equal terms to my ex she is getting nothing from me. She took too much when she took my kids. I’m going to take her to court to settle things and I may be faced with the same choices he was but I have spoken to my heavely pregnant wife and she agrees that I have to stand up and say NO even if it means gaol time. Like him I am not going to spend the rest of my life supporting someone that views me as their personal ATM. So how many years will I get do you think?

  22. @Georgialee Lang, and you’re 100% positive the he never tried that already (sending money for the child support only)? Moreover, do you think the system would take into consideration the change of his income amount, and thus adjust the assigned child support?

    Either way, the story cannot get really exciting if you mentioned that, right? Someone has to be pure evil and it is Mr. Hans in your case.

    The reason i’m feeling this guy is simply because his story is my exactly my case WORD to WORD, but with one small difference. That I filed for divorce because I found ex cheating on me for years.

    The biggest crime I’ve ever committed and greatest guilt; that I proudly carry, is choosing to live with some dignity than living with a CHEATING betraying greedy lazy wife planning on stealing all of my money (all was documented) since day one. I filed to court all evidence, proves and documents you can think of, but who cares about us or our feelings, we’re living in a modern society, correct? where everything has be split regardless of who’s fault the divorce is.

    I was raised & taught on the principle that cheaters and betrayals can never get awarded. I was pushed to leave the country as I was not able to live on the streets just to award her for cheating on me.

    Probably what I’m saying does not make any sense in the law eyes, but I was, have been & still shouting for humanity justice.

    After I left the country, I tried every possible way to communicate with my child, I sincerely offered sending money to my ex bank account (for child support only) in exchange to be able only to communicate with my kid. Yet, she refused any way of communications. She refused even letting me see a single picture of him.
    “All the money or you’ll never see your kid, not even a single photo of him ever again”, last message I got when we communicated after my leave.

    I do miss my kid big time, pray everyday that i could reconcile with him, and can do nothing else now but to wait for him to get old enough, and keep searching the social media on his name hoping he could create a profile one day.

  23. The author woman who wrote this article is “morally bankrupt”! Hand Mills, you are 100% right, and you are a victim.. you did *precisely* the right thing by leaving.. The best possible thing, when your next best option is suicide because this woman and a corrupt court decided your life meant nothing at all, and that your children didn’t need a father. Women just want to take, take, take, without limits nor shame. When the court allows that, the court is committing grand theft — a felony. Call it whatever else you want to call it and it is still a crime, and people think it is somehow okay only because a judge is committing the crime along with the woman in the divorce case?? COME ON! They are common criminals, and should be tried in a criminal court, and because they are criminals the children should be taken away from their mother. But of course that won’t happen because the court is corrupt, unaccountable to the People, and discriminates against men. Oh, and I’d be surprised if you allow my comment to be posted and stay posted.. why? Because you’re another woman, and you don’t want the truth to be printed!

  24. m1 you are my hero, even though I am married I know some friends who were nearly homeless because of unfavorable settlements as a result of a one-sided ruling from their judges due to their cheating exes. They had to live with their parents for at least a decade AND not see their children because of the corrupt court laws in North America. Some of those kids later rebelled and cut all ties with their biological mother, but a few were not so fortunate. And no, I am not blaming all women, rather I am blaming the cheating ones who just HAD to kindly put it: maximize their reproductive success by cheating and/or treating everyone they bunk with as an ATM machine while neglecting their own children unless they become a success story.Of course, family law is inexact science, but when you hear stories of a boy who was raped under 15 and paying child support in North America, you know society has become hijacked by feminazis their fascist lawyer buddies,judges and other power abusers(the real criminals). I bet our government spent more money in the last few decades chasing deadbeat dads(domestic and foreign), than stopping pedophiles and murderers( 21 years and he’s out and re-offending again, sound familiar?). Anyways, I’ve recently told one of my friends who had a bitter divorce to be ready to cash out everything and maybe even burn his citizenship once he gets his new one in another country (unless the court changes their mind,which I highly doubt). Even now, that friend’s son is starting to realize what a horrible mother he has and has even went as far to ask to be taken in by one of his school teachers(after school) since his mom’s new boyfriend beats him everyday after school because he hates the fact he is a musician(he plays in the school and cadet band), gets good grades in his other courses(except P.E) and isn’t a star athlete that he wants him to be. I hope one day the idiot judge who let that dog abuse her own child she loses custody and someone who will actually appreciate his talents and effort takes him in soon as their child.

    • Anyways, enough bad news and badmouthing. I just learned today that my friend’s child is no longer in his mother’s custody anymore. The music teacher at the school took it upon himself to take the child into his own custody since the child’s own father is on long term disability(from an injury at work, he’s in a wheelchair and requires assistance). The judge initially sided with the mother and her crooked team of lawyers(paid for by the boyfriend), but after hearing testimonials from the staff at the school, classmates and the especially the teacher himself, the judge quickly relented and rewarded custody to the music teacher. Now the child will no longer have to worry about being beaten up after school anymore and can even act as a mentor for the teacher’s young kids after school. I later learned that this same biased judge who rewarded the mother custody in the first place has a nephew who once hired this teacher for private music lessons and one day he told his uncle how much he loved everything he learned from this man, and even highly recommended him to his cousins and friends. I guess the judge knew how much it would upset his nephew and children if they were to find out that he made a one sided ruling against one of their favorite role models. The dad will continue paying child support, but now with more reasonable terms(he has a great relationship with the teacher and family), and can now rest easy now knowing it won’t be spent on superficial luxuries or things that aren’t needed(the mom’s current boyfriend once bought a punching bag and boxing gloves for her son as an “apology” to the child after beating him the night before,to make himself look like he cared). The son is now in the process of filing a restraining order against his mom and current boyfriend plus any subsequent boyfriends/husbands, and will remain in effect until he reaches age 19(unless he says otherwise). I’m glad there’s happy ending to this child custody battle story. But not all child custody battles end like this. Bless the teacher and the rest of his family for doing something like this and giving the dad another reason to stay within the country and reconnect with his son again. Now I’m off to deal with another friend’s dad who seems to have an axe to grind with his son since the day he was born, while his mother is the one that actually cares.

      • Very glad for your friend and his son. Not matter what, in one way or another, and sooner or later, Justice has to prevail.

  25. What is best country in the world to move avoiding child support in the US? It seems they have ties everywhere and the places they don’t aren’t places id want to live.

  26. I guess I recently joined the ranks of the dead beat dads ,I have been paying for my three kids as I should since their mother posted her private parts on line during internet affairs.We properly divorced and she took everything but the light bulbs (let’s be accurate I had a cup a knife a fork and a bent spoon I got the house with no equity and fridge plus stove )Not a curtain or blanket or toilet paper remained. I made extra payments so she wouldn’t loose her vehicle ,I had to take her to mediation to get her to do braces on our middle child .As he had a clef pallet and wasn’t speaking well because of his teeth.I remarried to a wonderful gal and we continue to pay support ,my wife lost her mom and dad a few years ago ,and I lost my mom last year right after mom passed my job was cut as a cut back ,I’m 47 been working oil patch since 18 numerous injuries including a fractured neck and 3 damaged discs in my back .since my Mom passed and the job stress (including being a foreman fielding calls during my Moms funeral service )I asked for temp decrease in hi stress decision making (that got me laid off) the stress seams to amplify the arthritis pain and fatigue plus insomnia .My doctor has been great helping me getting on a sleep apnea machine and dealing with fatigue while I’m on ui still looking for work .I keep getting told I’m over qualified plus getting up there in years for oil field work .so we recently filed an ISO form to reduce my payments ,DO NOT EVER! Use this system .The judge treated the case like I didn’t bother to show up the x had a lawyer she works for show up and now I have more to pay plus all the education and child support for our son who has been out of school for a year ,the judge said well he intentionally lowered his income but this will fix that .So now I get the package in mail saying I have to comply as of October 1 we received it Nov 20 ? I’m already defaulted not like I have the extra money anyhow,so now I still pay but am looking at jail time ,or ……. As I can’t pay there is no more money all rsps gone One toy left to sell …..I HAVE ALWAYS TRiED TO BE AN EXAMPLE OF WORK HARD DONT GIVE UP for my kids even though I haven’t seen or spoken to them since 2011when they were last here to visit and were disgusted to learn we had not been able to get permanent power to our house from the last time our support payments were raised
    As we couldn’t afford the expense .So now I still pay but not enough to clear my name and will have to live with a criminal record no license and does anyone know if they serve macncheese in jail as the last 4 years I have become rather used to it .

    • James Let me tell you what I see all the time:

      1. Good father who has always paid support becomes unemployed;
      2. Judge automatically believes the lack of employment is a strategy to stop paying support;
      3. Father is ill and cannot work or can only work a limited amount, but judge believes father is a malingerer.
      4. The only way a father can prove to a judge that his lack of employment or illness is legitimate is to have an affidavit from your employer explaining why father no longer has a job. If illness is the cause, you must have an affidavit from your doctor(s) setting out the diagnosis treatment plan, expected recovery date. Anything less will not be enough;
      5. Simply swearing under oath the reasons for unemployment or illness will not suffice. Judge will not believe you.
      6. Fathers who have sufficient funds to hire a lawyer (count on about $10,000 or more) will usually get some relief, but not always.
      7. ISO is a lost cause for fathers in your situation.
      8. You have my utmost sympathy. Our system sucks!

      • I don’t feel there is any support for dads in this system ,I can easily get doctors note but the judge and lawyer already have me in a situation of arrears ,and set it up to get financially more difficult in Jan I sold my motorcycle that used to be my de stress for half what it was worth back when we were still paying required amount.the money’s gone .she wins I have nothing and can’t have anything if I could run I would but I have no were to go ,my daughter was telling my whole family and neighbours about how her mom buys her pot so it’s not laced ,I looked into what I could do was told nothing would come of it but I could proceed if I felt compelled .My x gas been a receptionist or legal secretary for every firm in my home town in BC and now has backing (that’s constantly rubbed in my face)I’m Edmonton .

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