Divorcee Alert: There Are No Single Men in Vancouver

As a happily married divorce lawyer and amateur matchmaker, I am ready to admit there are hardly any single men available to women over forty-years-old in Vancouver. And believe me, I know.

Early on I saw a natural synergy between my family law practice and my access to hordes of soon-to–be-divorced men and women. There was a time when I had a stable of single guys looking to recommit to a lovely lady and an equal quota of bright, attractive women eager to date and mate, if the opportunity arose.

But that was before, not now. Vancouver is bereft of quality single guys willing to date a 40-or 50-something gal. So what has happened in the meantime? Lots.

First of all, we already know that men are loath to make a commitment to a woman even if they are madly in love with her. Guys are just slower to decide whether “the bird in their hand” is as good as the one “in the bush”.

Consider this recent example: my posh 58-year-old friend/client was set up on a blind date with a guy who frequented the same Mercedes dealership she did. After a few phone calls, our guy asked my friend if she wanted to have dinner with him. She said yes and off they went.

However, he chose a neighbourhood restaurant where she was well-know, and apparently he was too. The restaurant proprietor greeted her warmly and then acknowledged her date, noting that he had not seem him in the restaurant lately. That’s when the evening went downhill.

Mr. Mercedes protested that he had never been in the restaurant before and that the owner must be mixing him up with someone else. After ordering a salad and a glass of wine, the formerly amorous gentlemen pronounced the end of their date and drove my friend home.

Yes, my friend later discovered she was friends with his live-in girlfriend’s closest girlfriend. Shortly thereafter, he purchased a large diamond ring and entered into holy matrimony with his fiancee. Who knows how many other women he saw before he settled into domestic life? That’s not classy.

Another reason there are few eligible bachelors for the more mature set, is because they are already spoken for before they even file for divorce. While there are some truly devastated husbands who can’t believe their wife walked away, mostly, they are already paired up before they have paid a retainer to their divorce lawyer.

Why is that? Infidelity is still the leading cause of divorce in my practice. It comes in all shapes and sizes: the old girlfriend he ran into at the high school reunion; his secretary at the office; the pub waitress. One common denominator is they are usually at least ten years younger that the Mrs.

But you say, Vancouver has scores of cultured, attractive, and well-dressed men, just go to the opera, the theatre or the best restaurants in town. Yup, but they’re gay! They make wonderful companions, but the girls I know are after the now-elusive romance they once had.

By the way, Vancouver’s commercial matchmaking game is disastrous. Seems like a tired group of men have made the rounds of all the pros and still haven’t found a woman who would put up with them. You pay them $3000 for a few dates with a guy who needs to be at least 6 feet tall and they pair you up with five guys who are under 5’7″. What a bargain.

We’re left with the internet and frankly, I’ve heard mixed reviews! What’s a girl to do?

Lawdiva aka Georgialee Lang

7 thoughts on “Divorcee Alert: There Are No Single Men in Vancouver

  1. While I agree with pretty much everything you have said, you inadvertently did bring up an interesting point. One of the reasons a lot of vancouver women are having such difficulty is because they are looking for 6′ tall, dark, rich and handsome. Look, unless you yourself are an Angelina Jolie lookalike with a six figure salary, don’t expect to land a Brad Pitt lookalike surgeon. Set your sights realistic to what YOU have to offer and I am sure you will find a multitude of kind, loving, generous decent looking men looking for the same. I know a lot of vancouver single men find vancouver women to be unapproachable and unfriendly. Unless of course you are 6’2″ and rolling in a 7 series beemer.

  2. I feel obligated to post a reply to this as well ….I comment coming from both personal experience along with 4 very close girlfriends. We all separated from our husbands after 14-16 years of marriage, infidelity the cause for each. Each of our husbands went on to marry their flings (secretary, sister-in-law, business partner’s ex-wife…etc). While all of us continued to work in professional job sectors in the downtown market, raise our children (50/50 co-parenting didn’t exist in those days) and wonder if the possibility would ever exist that someone might share our lives one day, the truth is, there are very few single eligible men in Vancouver. I used to think that “someone who has their financial, social and emotional portfolio in order” was a reasonable request. It appeared that men who were not already in a relationship (that they were prepared to admit to) had no problem carrying on with 3-4 different women all at the same time. My guy (who I believed to be) a handsome, caring, devoted and successful local jeweller turned out to Not be in Vegas at a jewellery trade show but rather in Hawaii with his travel agent. My best girlfriend was dating a Captain with Air Canada … oh dear, turned out that he rented his uniform from a costume shop on Broadway and in fact was living in a basement suite somewhere in Surrey with his brother. Over the span of the last 18 years of Singletome, I am the only one who is married. My girlfriends, now all in their early to mid 50′s could write a book on Vancouver Men. It is not just about what WE have to offer, it is also about the other 50% of the equation. A Vancouver matchmaking company arranged a lunch date for one of my girlfriends with ‘a successful entrepreneur’… they met at a Yaletown restaurant, where I gather half way through the meal, he picked up his knife and proceeded to clean the inside of his nose. Absolutely lovely!

    So, it’s really nothing to do with 7 series BMW’s, and the salary …

  3. the author’s correct, there are no men here. i just got back from ontario & i’d never had so much attention. any place but here.

    “think i’ll go out to alberta, weather’s good there in the fall.”

  4. if a guy is a good catch.. tall and rich he has his choice if fresh younger women.. that is for sure.. women are only good until about 35 .. either you love one and grow old as a man or you look at the sexy fun younger ones.

  5. guys want younger women and can get them, they dont want to date women their own age. if they are divorced, they’ll not likely want to jump into the fryer again, and will want girlfriends instead. most women believe themselves to be entitiled to the rich, handsome millionaire, with a large house and jet-set lifestyle. well guess what girls 25yr old svetlana has snapped him up before you even knew he was available.

  6. Having been on the dating scene in Vancouver for quite a few years now my girlfriends and I have concluded the only way to meet someone is to meet him from somewhere else. The Vancouver men are spoiled, the ratio of women supposedly is 5 to 1 and so they are lazy..the women here have become aggressive and do all the pursuing because the men don’t feel they have to make any effort. And come on how many guys arrive for dates in the middle of winter with khahi shorts and running shoes….Pleeeease! And for the comment that women are no good after 35 give me a break I see beautiful older women out all the time and those beautiful women are saying WTF where are all the attractive men? FYI guys don’t age very well and let themselves go….but they always THINK they look great so think they should be able to get a 25 year old….in your dreams!

    • yes, this is very true Barb. funny thing two months’ ago my friend’s mother whose other daughter just moved to Calgary (about one year ago) said that when she and her sister who also travelled there went out for lunch (these two women look good for their ages – around early 60s), they were surrounded by men who were giving them the eye. they couldn’t believe it. so, yes, i really do believe this to be true regarding the piddly and poor supply of men here in Vancouver. this is why my theme song is “Four Strong Winds” esp. the first line that goes, “think i’ll go out to Alberta, weather’s good there in the fall…ommiss…” i am also quite sure that most of the men there have calluses on their hands from hard work (very very sexy), and don’t keep weekly appointments at the nail salon – BIG turnoff. On a positive note, I’ve been told by many people recently and twenty years ago that out of all the Canadian women, Vancouver’s women are the most beautiful (i’ve even heard in the most beautiful in the world). this is probably due to the milder summers (no sun damage), and beautiful water we have here. Not ;like in Ontario where there are practically stone formations growing on the local water fountains!!

      Cheers to my Fellows

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